Confidence

[Astrojewels]

Interesting point Karen, and this is why I like to explore as many topics as I can, at the end of the day I think it is all about what pops in and out of my crazy head and I do like the opinions of others, especially here at the forum, because I personally do not believe humans were designed to think alone, but you can reply without getting personal.

It is interesting also that you say it is a personality trait, confidence is one trait that can be easily given and taken, criticism or rejection certainly hampers confidence, and children tend to be born with a fair bit of confidence, which reduces through adolescence.

There is also false-confidence, believing you are good at something that you actually don’t do well! Is confidence honesty?  

[Mercy Now]

I think it takes confidence to be honest about ones thoughts feelings etc.

[karen]

There is also false-confidence, believing you are good at something that you actually don’t do well! Is confidence honesty?  

No. I'm coming from a totally different angle. Painting has nothing to do with having confidence or being confident. It's the opposite: not being sure of oneself or what one is creating is when one is open, therefore able to produce something greater than oneself - beautiful, inspired writing, painting, acting - in that sense, you don't want to be sure of what you're doing because then it's not authentic - no surprises.

That's why I feel it's a personality issue as in being extraverted or introverted. Yes, it can be crushed or cultivated as well.

As far as false-confidence...since I don't possess confidence like some do, I pretend to know how to do things, in other words, as if I know how to speak italian, or what have you, I imagine that I can and I manage to do so, even though I "really" don't. This is hard to explain, but it's happened, and spoke to my italian instructor about it and he said I was right to do so because I fooled him as well. He also told me there is a psychologist that wrote on this as theory of playing (forgot his name). Something to do with will.

[Golden Winged SnakeOiLion]

Damn. I lost my previous post. In short: confidence or it's opposite are dependent on what happened in similar situations in my childhood. I just discovered this recently when I wanted to clear up an issue that was just like a little string standing out. I pulled on it and a whole universe of issues that was connected to that string appeared. In the end a situation in my childhood that I misinterpreted created a confidence issue in a certain area in the future. :)

PS: If you come up to face with an issue, of which you say: "not important- I'll handle that later" - work on it. It's a can of worms and that's why you want to work on it "later" (and you'll never do if you decide to work on it "later").

[Astrojewels]

Yes I understand Karen, but painting takes you to a place where you feel comfortable, so does that create confidence within, just exploring here…. I am very confident in some areas, and I would say not so in others, more that I hesitate because I feel insecure about it, but I do work on those areas and believe I am honest with myself that I need to improve to actually feel confident, and I agree with MN’s reply.

I see many people that lack confidence are without simple everyday support, do we actually need support to have confidence? I would like to read that article.

[Astrojewels]

Totally agree GWSOL, it does become a can of worms, I also think that, and depending where it comes from, criticism can be simple honesty, and if it is constructed in a logical manner, not taken within your emotional depths, you can build confidence in that particular area through that criticism. Although I do understand that some criticism is just plain spite!   

[karen]

Yes I understand Karen, but painting takes you to a place where you feel comfortable, so does that create confidence within, just exploring here….

Painting doesn't take me to a place where I feel comfortable nor does it make me feel comfortable. That's not it's purpose. Does art make people comfortable or create confidence? I don't think so.

[user=148]Astrojewels[/user] wrote:

I am very confident in some areas, and I would say not so in others, more that I hesitate because I feel insecure about it, but I do work on those areas and believe I am honest with myself that I need to improve to actually feel confident, and I agree with MN’s reply. 

I think we're talking about 2 different things.  I think what you're talking about are skills. These can be learned and mastered. Is confidence a skill in itself? I'd say yes. I'm not skillful at it. I believe that some people are. I have tried to describe above how I've overcome not having this skill by "pretending" to have it. It is the action itself that creates the ability (to do so). How do you learn something you've never done, by doing it or trying to do it. Then, being insecure becomes irrelevant.

[user=148]Astrojewels[/user] wrote:

I see many people that lack confidence are without simple everyday support, do we actually need support to have confidence?

I've come to realize that one's responses to others' opinions, reactions and attitudes is what undermines self, not the actual opinions, attitudes and reactions themselves.

In other words, how we react/feel is what determines our  actions and ability to function.  


[user=148]Astrojewels[/user] wrote:

I would like to read that article.

What article are you referring to? The psychologist's theories? Basically, that humans learn by playing, those that "play as if" learn more, those that "pretend" to have confidence, actually develop more. Those who act "as if" develop those qualities and abilities.

The only reason that I came to this on my own, without knowing that this was actually a psychological theory, was because no one taught me how to do anything! :)


 


 

[Mercy Now]

It occurs to me that  "con" is derived from the word confidence. A person cons another in gaining their confidence by pretending or playing (player) to be something they are not.

This isn't to put a negative spin on the subject ,only to look with more than one lens.

Perhaps confidence could be interpreted as an" energetic investment based on...??????"

 

[DreamTime]

In my opinion, AJ, yes, I think support does help with the confidence issue...at least for me I think it does. Although, even though I have "support" on and about my writing, I am still not "confident" I have what it takes for it.

[Astrojewels]

What do you get from doing art Karen? I am not talking about skills solely as I do believe skills and confidence do go hand in hand, and I do also truly believe that yes you can be taught skills, but to actually master them it must naturally be within, or you only become good/ordinary at it, and there must be passion and determination which accommodates the confidence. I do understand what you are saying about pretending to have skills but how does that reflect your confidence?

MN, I do like that- energetic investment, that explains it very simply, nice one pea!

 

DT, if I break down your writing into two separate energies, you are confident writing, yes? But you are not confident with strangers reading or actually putting your words out there for people to buy and read? Yes?