Strange Days

[DreamTime]

Hi All,

This past week or so, I have been feeling really "blah."  I have been waking up more tired than when I went to sleep - which isn't a pleasant feeling since I just want to turn around and go back to bed.  My sleep is very broken, but my dreams are getting more and more vivid and detailed - to the point where I just can't remember all of them. 

Last night, after reading some posts on a forum that LilyPat had put a link to, I spent a long time in bed trying to remember my past.  I realized that I can not remember even ONE of my birthdays for my first 18 years - and only sporadic ones after that.  The harder I tried to remember things, the more my head began to give me sharp pains in the pineal area.  I kept trying to ignore the pains, as I was DETERMINED to remember at least ONE birthday - but I had to finally give up.  Someone or something definitely did NOT want me to remember.

I find this all very sad and frustrating.  So much of my past is just a huge blank.  Even to this day, my girls will ask me if I remember something that they remember, and I have to tell them no.  It seems to be getting worse - if you can believe that.  It seems like my memories are erasing right before my very eyes.  The only thing I am remembering are my dreams.  I know I am getting older - but c'mon!  I'm not "over the hill" yet.  Even my dad, who's 90, seems to remember more of his past than I do.

I just don't know what to do anymore.  I feel like my life if going down the tubes.  Even now as I type this, I am getting that "crappy" pain in my head again.  Why do they get such pleasure out of tormenting me - a little insignificant blip on the planet?  Why not just leave me alone or just "get it over with" whatever they intend on doing?  I will end this post here - before the "black hole" gets any bigger.:burn:

 

[SilverInfinity]

Do you best to visualize the dot in the circle.  It not just balances the hemispheres, but increases overall memory awareness.

Also, flush your pineal gland in violet.  Because it is a good place for implants, I think you may have an implant there.

Release your feelings and thoughts of aging...

 

Don't give up, but do not struggle.

ps if you want to know what's blocking your memory, visualize the word "MEMORY" in large brown block letters at the pineal gland and then see what comes up.  Stewart said that memories are never erased...

[DreamTime]

Hi SI,

I understand everything you said and I thank you for your words - but (there's always a but, right?) - I do do (dodo lol) all the things you said every night and it doesn't seem to help much (except give me piece of mind). 

In regards to putting the word MEMORY in brown, well, unfortunately that never seems to work for me either.  I know and realize that none of my memories are really gone, but they are sure hidden well.  Whatever block they put up is working too well.  I need a sledgehammer to break down the walls. (Now don't tell me to visualize a violet sledgehammer, because I've tried that too.)  Maybe if I put my finger in a wall socket the shock will bring to "light" all the hidden memories...:orcinterro:

[William]

Dreamtime,   Why do you want to remember your past?

 

  Sit down with some herbal tea, stare out that big window and daydream, your past will come back.

 

 

[Avatar]

Hi there Dream Time and William.That is really lovely advice my friend.It is simple and concise. I love herbal tea and i find it does relax and cleanse the body.I know that you have wonderful Visualization skills and a great imagination Dream Time so i am sure you will be able to access those deep level Subconscious memories.Alot of this is due to the IP we all have that can activate with Sabotage Programming to block Deprogramming.Take care.

[DreamTime]

Hi All,

Thanks for your comments.

William: Why do I want to remember my past?  Well, I guess because it's a part of me - and I want to know who I am.  Also, because it is part of all the SECRETS in my life - and I hate secrets. :shhh:

Yes Avatar, I have a great imagination, but as I have said, my imaginings usually go to "out of this world" stuff or "fantasy."  Unless that is what my whole life has been, I don't think that will help me much. :orcpascompris:

But... I guess I am trying too hard.  Maybe I should just "forget" about it for awhile. :okok:

[Avatar]

Hi there Dream Time.I just had a great idea on you finding a way to access your long term memories especially from early childhood.You told me how you have a good imagination and tend to go into "out of this world" stuff and "fantasy" imagery.This is exactly what alot of children do and as you know children have incredible imaginations and Visualization skills.Work on your fantasy imagery and think as a child would, so think of nature and specific life forms like Mammals, Plants, Insects, Birds and Shellfish.Then think about perhaps your favourite sweets or chocolate. Then look at your favourite colour and favourite food and see if any of these link back into memories of you with your Mother and Fanther.These are just ideas that maybe could work. Also try to activate these long term memories by using the Green Spiral Staircase Exercise.Take care my friend.

[SilverInfinity]

Do not be afraid to act it out.  If you are right-handed and trying to recall a past event your eyes involuntarily look towards the top left.  When trying to create a senario or lie, your eyes involuntarily look towards the top right.   You have to "get into it" though.  And that will break the conscious barrier or vice versa (subconscious barrier) by great actors.

You can shut the right nostril and breathe exclusively through the left to activate the imaginative part of you.

This is only for starts, because you will need to balance the hemispheres.

I agree with Avatar.  Feel the five senses in your imaginery world.  Scent and touch is most powerful.

I guess visualizations don't help people visualize.  I thought you only had problems with memory.

Here are some extra tips (do not inchant):

http://emoclear.com/processes/viztips.html

[DreamTime]

Great idea.  I'll have to give it a try.  I'll let you know if it works or not. 

I was also thinking of just sitting down and start typing.  Just type without thinking and see what comes up.  I think I read that somewhere.  I don't know if it will work, but it can't hurt, right?

[SilverInfinity]

Yea!  Free writing.  That's what I do when I can't come up with a thesis for my essay.  Try clustering the important points in your life.  Or list as much people you can remember.  Or do free-associate.