08-27-2010, 05:07 AM
http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
The Egg
By: Andy Weir
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And thatââ¬â¢s when you met me.
ââ¬ÅWhatââ¬Â¦ what happened?ââ¬Â You asked. ââ¬ÅWhere am I?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅYou died,ââ¬Â I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
ââ¬ÅThere was aââ¬Â¦ a truck and it was skiddingââ¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â
ââ¬ÅYup,ââ¬Â I said.
ââ¬ÅIââ¬Â¦ I died?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅYup. But donââ¬â¢t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,ââ¬Â I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. ââ¬ÅWhat is this place?ââ¬Â You asked. ââ¬ÅIs this the afterlife?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅMore or less,ââ¬Â I said.
ââ¬ÅAre you god?ââ¬Â You asked.
ââ¬ÅYup,ââ¬Â I replied. ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m God.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅMy kidsââ¬Â¦ my wife,ââ¬Â you said.
ââ¬ÅWhat about them?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWill they be all right?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅThatââ¬â¢s what I like to see,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅYou just died and your main concern is for your family. Thatââ¬â¢s good stuff right there.ââ¬Â
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didnââ¬â¢t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
ââ¬ÅDonââ¬â¢t worry,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅTheyââ¬â¢ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didnââ¬â¢t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If itââ¬â¢s any consolation, sheââ¬â¢ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅOh,ââ¬Â you said. ââ¬ÅSo what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNeither,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅYouââ¬â¢ll be reincarnated.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅAh,ââ¬Â you said. ââ¬ÅSo the Hindus were right,ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅAll religions are right in their own way,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅWalk with me.ââ¬Â
You followed along as we strode through the void. ââ¬ÅWhere are we going?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNowhere in particular,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅItââ¬â¢s just nice to walk while we talk.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSo whatââ¬â¢s the point, then?ââ¬Â You asked. ââ¬ÅWhen I get reborn, Iââ¬â¢ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life wonââ¬â¢t matter.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNot so!ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅYou have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just donââ¬â¢t remember them right now.ââ¬Â
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. ââ¬ÅYour soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. Itââ¬â¢s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if itââ¬â¢s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, youââ¬â¢ve gained all the experiences it had.
ââ¬ÅYouââ¬â¢ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you havenââ¬â¢t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, youââ¬â¢d start remembering everything. But thereââ¬â¢s no point to doing that between each life.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅHow many times have I been reincarnated, then?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅOh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅThis time around, youââ¬â¢ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWait, what?ââ¬Â You stammered. ââ¬ÅYouââ¬â¢re sending me back in time?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWell, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWhere you come from?ââ¬Â You said.
ââ¬ÅOh sure,ââ¬Â I explained ââ¬ÅI come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know youââ¬â¢ll want to know what itââ¬â¢s like there, but honestly you wouldnââ¬â¢t understand.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅOh,ââ¬Â you said, a little let down. ââ¬ÅBut wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you donââ¬â¢t even know itââ¬â¢s happening.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSo whatââ¬â¢s the point of it all?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSeriously?ââ¬Â I asked. ââ¬ÅSeriously? Youââ¬â¢re asking me for the meaning of life? Isnââ¬â¢t that a little stereotypical?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWell itââ¬â¢s a reasonable question,ââ¬Â you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. ââ¬ÅThe meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅYou mean mankind? You want us to mature?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNo, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅJust me? What about everyone else?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅThere is no one else,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅIn this universe, thereââ¬â¢s just you and me.ââ¬Â
You stared blankly at me. ââ¬ÅBut all the people on earthââ¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â
ââ¬ÅAll you. Different incarnations of you.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWait. Iââ¬â¢m everyone!?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNow youââ¬â¢re getting it,ââ¬Â I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m every human being who ever lived?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅOr who will ever live, yes.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m Abraham Lincoln?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅAnd youââ¬â¢re John Wilkes Booth, too,ââ¬Â I added.
ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m Hitler?ââ¬Â You said, appalled.
ââ¬ÅAnd youââ¬â¢re the millions he killed.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m Jesus?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅAnd youââ¬â¢re everyone who followed him.ââ¬Â
You fell silent.
ââ¬ÅEvery time you victimized someone,ââ¬Â I said, ââ¬Åyou were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness youââ¬â¢ve done, youââ¬â¢ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.ââ¬Â
You thought for a long time.
ââ¬ÅWhy?ââ¬Â You asked me. ââ¬ÅWhy do all this?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅBecause someday, you will become like me. Because thatââ¬â¢s what you are. Youââ¬â¢re one of my kind. Youââ¬â¢re my child.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWhoa,ââ¬Â you said, incredulous. ââ¬ÅYou mean Iââ¬â¢m a god?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNo. Not yet. Youââ¬â¢re a fetus. Youââ¬â¢re still growing. Once youââ¬â¢ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSo the whole universe,ââ¬Â you said, ââ¬Åitââ¬â¢s justââ¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â
ââ¬ÅAn egg.ââ¬Â I answered. ââ¬ÅNow itââ¬â¢s time for you to move on to your next life.ââ¬Â
And I sent you on your way.
The Egg
By: Andy Weir
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And thatââ¬â¢s when you met me.
ââ¬ÅWhatââ¬Â¦ what happened?ââ¬Â You asked. ââ¬ÅWhere am I?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅYou died,ââ¬Â I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
ââ¬ÅThere was aââ¬Â¦ a truck and it was skiddingââ¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â
ââ¬ÅYup,ââ¬Â I said.
ââ¬ÅIââ¬Â¦ I died?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅYup. But donââ¬â¢t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,ââ¬Â I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. ââ¬ÅWhat is this place?ââ¬Â You asked. ââ¬ÅIs this the afterlife?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅMore or less,ââ¬Â I said.
ââ¬ÅAre you god?ââ¬Â You asked.
ââ¬ÅYup,ââ¬Â I replied. ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m God.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅMy kidsââ¬Â¦ my wife,ââ¬Â you said.
ââ¬ÅWhat about them?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWill they be all right?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅThatââ¬â¢s what I like to see,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅYou just died and your main concern is for your family. Thatââ¬â¢s good stuff right there.ââ¬Â
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didnââ¬â¢t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
ââ¬ÅDonââ¬â¢t worry,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅTheyââ¬â¢ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didnââ¬â¢t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If itââ¬â¢s any consolation, sheââ¬â¢ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅOh,ââ¬Â you said. ââ¬ÅSo what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNeither,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅYouââ¬â¢ll be reincarnated.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅAh,ââ¬Â you said. ââ¬ÅSo the Hindus were right,ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅAll religions are right in their own way,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅWalk with me.ââ¬Â
You followed along as we strode through the void. ââ¬ÅWhere are we going?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNowhere in particular,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅItââ¬â¢s just nice to walk while we talk.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSo whatââ¬â¢s the point, then?ââ¬Â You asked. ââ¬ÅWhen I get reborn, Iââ¬â¢ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life wonââ¬â¢t matter.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNot so!ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅYou have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just donââ¬â¢t remember them right now.ââ¬Â
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. ââ¬ÅYour soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. Itââ¬â¢s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if itââ¬â¢s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, youââ¬â¢ve gained all the experiences it had.
ââ¬ÅYouââ¬â¢ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you havenââ¬â¢t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, youââ¬â¢d start remembering everything. But thereââ¬â¢s no point to doing that between each life.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅHow many times have I been reincarnated, then?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅOh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅThis time around, youââ¬â¢ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWait, what?ââ¬Â You stammered. ââ¬ÅYouââ¬â¢re sending me back in time?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWell, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWhere you come from?ââ¬Â You said.
ââ¬ÅOh sure,ââ¬Â I explained ââ¬ÅI come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know youââ¬â¢ll want to know what itââ¬â¢s like there, but honestly you wouldnââ¬â¢t understand.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅOh,ââ¬Â you said, a little let down. ââ¬ÅBut wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you donââ¬â¢t even know itââ¬â¢s happening.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSo whatââ¬â¢s the point of it all?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSeriously?ââ¬Â I asked. ââ¬ÅSeriously? Youââ¬â¢re asking me for the meaning of life? Isnââ¬â¢t that a little stereotypical?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWell itââ¬â¢s a reasonable question,ââ¬Â you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. ââ¬ÅThe meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅYou mean mankind? You want us to mature?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNo, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅJust me? What about everyone else?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅThere is no one else,ââ¬Â I said. ââ¬ÅIn this universe, thereââ¬â¢s just you and me.ââ¬Â
You stared blankly at me. ââ¬ÅBut all the people on earthââ¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â
ââ¬ÅAll you. Different incarnations of you.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWait. Iââ¬â¢m everyone!?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNow youââ¬â¢re getting it,ââ¬Â I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m every human being who ever lived?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅOr who will ever live, yes.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m Abraham Lincoln?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅAnd youââ¬â¢re John Wilkes Booth, too,ââ¬Â I added.
ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m Hitler?ââ¬Â You said, appalled.
ââ¬ÅAnd youââ¬â¢re the millions he killed.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢m Jesus?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅAnd youââ¬â¢re everyone who followed him.ââ¬Â
You fell silent.
ââ¬ÅEvery time you victimized someone,ââ¬Â I said, ââ¬Åyou were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness youââ¬â¢ve done, youââ¬â¢ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.ââ¬Â
You thought for a long time.
ââ¬ÅWhy?ââ¬Â You asked me. ââ¬ÅWhy do all this?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅBecause someday, you will become like me. Because thatââ¬â¢s what you are. Youââ¬â¢re one of my kind. Youââ¬â¢re my child.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅWhoa,ââ¬Â you said, incredulous. ââ¬ÅYou mean Iââ¬â¢m a god?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅNo. Not yet. Youââ¬â¢re a fetus. Youââ¬â¢re still growing. Once youââ¬â¢ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅSo the whole universe,ââ¬Â you said, ââ¬Åitââ¬â¢s justââ¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â
ââ¬ÅAn egg.ââ¬Â I answered. ââ¬ÅNow itââ¬â¢s time for you to move on to your next life.ââ¬Â
And I sent you on your way.