04-21-2009, 04:51 AM
This is a song/poem I want to share with you guys. I wrote it so it's probably crapshoot:
Quote:Damn how do I put a private mode on this note yo
My life feels wrecked but I am still standing
I wish I can be your friend, but I don't know how
Because I had a bad past that broke me inside
I want to be the very best for myself, I really do
But everytime I try I get reminded
Of the past that took away my everything
God showed Himself in my life and I never felt his presence
He gave me gifts, but I ignored it all
Instead I mocked Him with the gifts he gave by climbing up the social ladder by smarts and intuition
I angered God and he took away my holy spirit
I was given a chance
Now God doesn't even listen to me
A part of me experienced you in my old life,
but another part of me never feels the power I once had
(So forgive me if I deny you in front of others
I am just having child tantrums that you've forsaken me.)
Now I fell from the ladder and my talents are all gone
The gifts you gave me were there to heal me
But I mocked you.
Born to be disabled, but my autism healed in a few years
I made such improvements I got a student of the year,
I was interviewed because I suddenly got smarter
I was popularly known by almost everyone
Now how many people get that sh*t
I wish I had the time to notice I should thank you God.
But I mocked you instead,
Then most of what healed me You reversed it,
And now I'm just a nobody struggling in life
Determined by my past.
Damn how do I put a private mode on this note yo
My life feels wrecked but I am still standing
I wish I can be your friend, but I don't know how
Because I had a bad past that broke me inside
I want to be the very best for myself, I really do
But everytime I try I get reminded
Of the past that took away my everything
I know the fakery that goes in life
It is depressing
People pretending to be like others
Pretending to be the best until they make it
Guys brag they get laid, brag they have a car,
Girls feel better by acting like divas
When deep inside they already lost themselves
Hypocrisy in people drives me nuts
We are all lost in this insane game
All the world a stage and I wish I was the main player
But I am not because my consciousness dropped
No longer dreaming lucid, remembering photographically,
Sensing without knowing, no longer the perfection God gave me.
Damn how do I put a private mode on this note yo
My life feels wrecked but I am still standing
I wish I can be your friend, but I don't know how
Because I had a bad past that broke me inside
I want to be the very best for myself, I really do
But everytime I try I get reminded
Of the past that took away my everything
So I delved into the occult to remember who I was
To get back some of the holy spirit
Because God would no longer help me
Damn how do I put a private mode on this note yo
My life feels wrecked but I am still standing
I wish I can be your friend, but I don't know how
Because I had a bad past that broke me inside
I want to be the very best for myself, I really do
But everytime I try I get reminded
Of the past that took away my everything
Now the demons hunt me at night, drinking juice from
My genitals, and from my solar plexus
Some times manifest mysterious marks and blood,
They cause me not to sleep,
Sucking away my life
I get weaker with each night
The entities give me free peaks at hell
And the world destruction to come in my lifetime yo
I wish I can say it's all an illness
But there is something demonic
Partially possessing me when I'm drunk
So I avoid drinking
And envious of what I had
But that I can never use again
"I'm tired of you!"
"I'm tired of you mocking my diluted consciousness!"
"May you all burn in judgement day!"
But I guess I deserved their nightly visits
I delved into the occult --
I had a chance to wish back perfection,
And I didn't want to lose it.
But if you were oblivious to God's chance,
Would you have ignored him too
And mocked him
I didn't mean to because I was already broken at home
By Chinese traditions of punishing your kids
By the confidence that you lose as you get older
Now God took away what he gave me
And I'm just a spoiled child begging for the holy spirit back
Damn how do I put a private mode on this note yo
My life feels wrecked but I am still standing
I wish I can be your friend, but I don't know how
Because I had a bad past that broke me inside
I want to be the very best for myself, I really do
But everytime I try I get reminded
Of the past that took away my everything.
