Apology

[Astrojewels]

Apologizing is becoming popular in our modern world, we are seeing more of it from governments, law enforcement and large corporations, but in our everyday world when is an apology acceptable or not?

The dictionary translates the world ‘apologize’ as - an excuse for some fault! Besides being bombarded by manipulated frequencies, ELF or just the everyday stress that our world now has, what are the other reasons for behavior that later requires you to apologize, and what is the limit where you can actually make these excuses.

When is it too late or is it ever too late?

If you have someone in your life that is continually nasty, aggressive or just plain rude, but they apologize, does this make it right? Well I do not think so, we all have mad days where our limits are pushed and we tend to enter a ‘bad mood’ but is it right to take it out on others?

We are triggered, which does structure a personality that we can not seem to control, but analyzing this behavior after is certainly the key to controlling the triggers that you may encounter.

Then there are those who would never apologize, they would never admit that they were at fault and the blame would be thrown, so it’s your fault for the way they behaved, so you need to not get them mad in the first place! What!!!!!

I think an apology is acceptable when it is an honest mistake and non-intentional, but I do see a pattern that people are becoming more aggressive and this is continual, they apologize to whoever, but before you know it, they are doing it again, and can they ever get out of this cycle?

I also believe that each individual must take responsibility for uncalled behavior, therefore no excuse is required, just that you regret what you have done, because making excuses is throwing blame, and not taking the responsibility for your behavior?   

What are your thoughts on this? Anyone

[Mercy Now]

I'm finding most apologies are simply lip service and I'm seeing this begin and indeed taught at a very young age. Just to smooth things over. 

 
True apology is... acknowledging that you have caused another person pain or grief; asking for forgiveness;express that you are truly sorry for your actions or your words ;and actively seek positive steps to rebuild trust and /or heal wounds. IMO


 

[Astrojewels]

I really like your explanation MN, and lip service, yes, it is like people do not understand what an apology really is, it seems to be an excuse to make things better, which to me does not make sense, and I think people need to be aware of ‘what they did’ in order to even have to apologize in the first place.

[spottedowl]

 All the public apologies going around now are all for face value.  Which is kind of odd seeing as no one believes they are real apologies anyway. Another reason apologies are so common is because famous people are now synonymous with "role-model" so if a teen pop sensation curses they have to have a press release about it with an apology because they are leading our youth on a path of destruction, which places blame on others for OUR youth.

No real apology has a time line.  Apologies are not just about the receiver it is also about the person giving the apology.  It acts as a release/cleansing from all of the guilt and shame or angst over what was done to the other person. It also acts as a release/cleansing from the person that may or may not be holding on to the anger, bitterness, mistrust, annoyance about whatever happened to them.

It doesnt seem like it is a huge problem to teach children to apologies even if they dont grasp it yet as long as there is at least an attempt to explain the reasoning.  Eventually they should be able to understand the importance.  

[spottedowl]

I really like your explanation MN, and lip service, yes, it is like people do not understand what an apology really is, it seems to be an excuse to make things better, which to me does not make sense, and I think people need to be aware of ‘what they did’ in order to even have to apologize in the first place.

In general I'd have to agree but sometimes people don't understand what they did just because they cant but the are apologetic about how it makes you feel.

[Mercy Now]

need to be aware of ‘what they did’ in order to even have to apologize in the first place

Therein  lies the rub. It seems in an ever increasing "do what thy wilt "society people are losing their moral compass or awareness of what is right or wrong. Or  thinking as long as they aren't called on something or caught it doesn't matter.  

spotted owl wrote...

It doesnt seem like it is a huge problem to teach children to apologies even if they dont grasp it yet as long as there is at least an attempt to explain the reasoning.

Yes, as long as there is the explanation and understanding of why simply giving lip service doesn't help.

In general I'd have to agree but sometimes people don't understand what they did just because they cant but the are apologetic about how it makes you feel.

Yes there times like this as well  I agree.  Still the effort to understand what caused the hurt and not to repeat it is important to the energetics of the apology. 

[Astrojewels]

Good point Spottedowl, it really is important for the person giving, because that person has to take responsibly for their actions, I have always taught my children to take responsibility, so the apology just is part of that, do you think?

 

MN,

I know what you are saying, some people seem to only apologize because they are told, but if you are dealing with a person who can not see their wrongs, how do you change that without more conflict, people like this become very defensive.

[leah]

Some people just say sorry because it sounds good and it gets them the result they want after they've done something. I only say sorry if I really mean it because to me sorry means you're sorry and you won't do it again. I find people throw the word 'promise' about a lot too then never keep to it.

[Astrojewels]

Yes Leah, good point and totally agree, ‘promise’ has become a general term in the social vocabulary, but I think the old school of ‘your word is your honor’ is almost gone. In general, people have no morals of saying and doing, and I have also noticed that ‘pretenders’ are on the rise as well.

[spottedowl]

Yes Leah, good point and totally agree, ‘promise’ has become a general term in the social vocabulary, but I think the old school of ‘your word is your honor’ is almost gone. In general, people have no morals of saying and doing, and I have also noticed that ‘pretenders’ are on the rise as well.

I absolutely agree.   Isn't it odd though that some pretenders are only pretenders to some and not to others and then those pretenders turn the non-pretenders into pretenders? Real people are too nervous or scared of being naive that they become fake to shield.