Cheney Claims He Is Not Human

[Richard]

Washington, D.C. - Vice President Cheney today dismissed critics complaining he has subverted the law, claiming that only humans have to obey the law and he is not human. According to the Vice President, as he often goes into his garage, he is also an automobile, and therefore exempt from any legal codes and statutes.

When interviewed recently on television by Tim Russert, Mr. Cheney said, "What goes into a garage? A car, correct?" Mr. Russert agreed that, "Yes, a car goes into a garage."

"Well," continued the Vice President, "I go into the garage all the time. That makes me a car. If I'm a car, that means, obviously, that I'm not just human, I'm also part car. You see, Tim, the law applies only to humans. It doesn't apply to me."

The White House and the Vice President's office refused to disclose Mr. Cheney's make and model as this is classified information. However, one White House insider commented, "I will tell you one thing, he's sure as hell not fuel efficient."

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko 

http://assimilatedpress.blogspot.com/

[Sily]

[user=3]Richard[/user] wrote:

...The White House and the Vice President's office refused to disclose Mr. Cheney's make and model as this is classified information...

I'll help them out and disclose the classified information. 

It is a well known fact that Mr. Dick "Grandpa MUNSTER" Cheney is a dusty, cranky, old Dragula.  Notice the coffin for all the dead?

---

I was reading last night that Dick "the ick" Cheney was going to be named as a customer of the D C Madam.  I can only hope.

[William]

  I saw on the news last night how they were "wanting" to bring up Impeachment for Dick, but they also brought up how he shot is friend.  So that statement on the news said alot!

[Richard]

Sily, that’s pretty funny about Cheney’s car. Thanks to Cheney we now know that we can claim we’re cars and not have to obey human laws. ;)

[William]

  I guess we should start a new thread....

  What car are you?                                                     icon_jail

[Richard]

I guess you could say I’m a Pontiac GTO. GTO is called Goat by many people and Goats are related to sheep. A male sheep is called a Ram and the Ram is the symbol for Aries. Also the first car I ever owned was a GTO.  

[alexandrite]

Dick Chenney not human.....Surprise, Surprise.

[Sily]

[size="2"][user=18]William wrote:[/user]

  What car are you?                                                    

Functional on both land and in the sea is very important for me.  I picked the Lotus Esprit from The Spy Who Loved Me.

Now let me explain....  :D ....being human I have to spend most of my time out of the water, working on the land...... but in the water, in the sea, that's where I am the happiest.  Underwater swimming, floating, snorkeling.... if I'm going to make my move-to-a-tropical-island dream a reality, I need to be able to function well on both land and sea. 

These are some of my features:
[/size]

1. [size="2"]Rear firing mud sprayers to repel pursuers.[/size]
2. [size="2"] Full 'underwater' kit turning me into a fully operative submarine.[/size]
3. [size="2"] Surface-to-air missiles.[/size]
4. [size="2"] Limpet mine depth charges.[/size]
5. [size="2"] Underwater smoke screens.[/size]
6. [size="2"] Torpedoes.[/size]
7. [size="2"]My two vertical fins fold up for stability.[/size]
8. [size="2"]Crisply argonautic, controlled by foot pedals and a joystick.[/size]
9. [size="2"]My front license plate reads: ESPRIT (liveliness of mind or spirit)[/size]

[Sily]

[user=3]Richard[/user] wrote:

..I’m a Pontiac GTO...

[color="#666655"][size="2"][color="black"] Little GTO, you're really lookin' fine
Three deuces and a four-speed and a 389
Listen to her tachin' up now, listen to her why-ee-eye-ine
C'mon and turn it on, wind it up, blow it out GTO[/color]

...

[/size][/color][color="black"][size="2"] You oughta see her on a road course or a quarter mile
This little modified Pon-Pon has got plenty of style
She beats the gassers and the rail jobs, really drives 'em why-ee-eye-ild
C'mon and turn it on, wind it up, blow it out GTO

:D
[/size][/color][color="#666655"][size="2"]

[/size][/color]

[Richard]

Sily, that’s a good car to be. I didn’t think of the ultra cool cars that are out there like the Lotus Esprit from The Spy Who Loved Me. I guess I should have picked Kit from Night Rider or the Mach 5 from Speed Racer.  

Thanks for posting the GTO song. I always did like it.