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Dolphin Girl,
The old, dreaded wooden spoon treatment. I had forgotten that until reading your post. My Mom, bless her as she knew not what she did, used to pull that out on occasion when my sisters and I were little. :)
Polly
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SilverInfinity,
I think it has to do with chipping away at one's worst fears; actually exposing oneself to the very things that cause oneself to recoil in horror and want to head for the hills. :)
Polly
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I find doing something nice for someone else is a good place to start..as corny as it may sound :)
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Thank you for your ideas everyone. DolphinGirl, you are probably very right that TMJ is usually related to the thyroid gland. I haven't got myself checked out with the doctor but my constant fatigue may be due to hypothyroidism. I used to think it was my TMJ but scratch that because my grades are dropping fast and I have no other good explanation for my inability to stay focused. I've been sleeping 15 hours of sleep a day. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I had to sleep so much during the day.
When I get back home I will see a doctor and probably get myself on prescription drugs because this has been too long a fight. I recommend anyone with constant fatigue to check for thyroid problems.
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The correct supplements will do a lot more good than drugs, which will be disigned to suppress the body's ability to self-nurture. You need to look at you issues with speaking up for yourself, and holding onto anger that makes you feel 'cracked' and inflxible in your communication. Also look at what emotional disturbances are being suppressed under the surface and blocking the clear flow of energy through your communication chakra.
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Monica, thanks. I already know I have anger suppressed in me, that I need to speak up for myself, and that vitamin supplements merely aids the thyroid gland. But I have trouble changing the mind-pattern / acknowledging the negative and positive conditions. Right now I'm still in Step 1 of the Affirmations Process and will not wait any longer because my school grades are suffering. Not just that but I can't keep my attention on changing mind-patterns, meditations, and doing affirmation work. It is very difficult when after the first 30 minutes of napping or sleeping I'd want to doze off again.
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Knowing you have snger and communication issues is only the beginning. Then you have to DO something about them. This could be making a personal journal of all the things you've wanted to say and haven't, and/or visualising excess red energy pouring out of you to your Oversoul. Saying that you don't have time is victim mentality. You always have time: you just to take one step at a time! It can feel like nothing at first, but keep going and things will change. Feeling controlled and overwhelemd by your studies and what you have to achieve wil exacerbate all this: so give yourself permission to take all the time you need. The grades you get in college are not a symbol of your actual abilities, but reflect what you think you are capable of. In relaity you are much more than that. Lighten up about school and it may become more enjoyable. You have your whole life to live: that's years to learn what you need to. If you need all this sleep, ask your body why it's tired. Maybe you are forcing yourself to move in the wrong direction/pathway, and there are other opportunities that fit your frequency better. COnsider that this is just the beginning f finding out yuor purpose here on Earth.
Q: Do you have anger about not being able to show your hyperspace knowledge in general life experiences? Suppressing your power/wisdom can hurt too when you feel you have to 'fit in' with what's normal for other people. Find out from yuor Oversoul how you can experience this world without compromising yuorself. You can do it, because you already know it somewhere inside of you. :)
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Thank you Monica. Avatar has told me countless times to start a journal. I think you really put it in perspective here. . .
I want to take the path of the University because I don't really have any talents like singing, dancing, acting that would let me fall back on. Part of me wants to surpass in the University and all of its "hardships" so there is no reason why I shouldn't be in college.
I don't really care about teaching people anymore because they tend to not listen. And when they do, they slowly cut off the friendships. That means there's a part of me that I'm neglecting. . .
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Hrmmm... you're taking University courses because you think you are talentless??? Well, how's that for explaining why you're feeling low! :D
You don't have to 'be' any of these things. I went to University for a year to study music because I didn't see how I could achieve what I wanted otherwise, yet it made me miserable, and the people there didn't share my deeper interests. For my own sake i decided to make a go of self-teaching: i.e. to find out through Oversoul work what I am good at and how I can improve my voice. I didn't even sing at all for four months because I was so stressed and afraid! But, over time, and after many many affirmations, I did see improvements, and ideas about how to blend my metaphysical knowledge with my voice started to flow in my mind.
Now, one thing I have noticed is how you consistently put down your own level of intelligence by saying that you don't write properly, that you can't do creative things, that you cannot function "normally" in society etc. Well, you don't have to function normally in society. I udnerstand this feeling only too well. Throughout my life I have been confused and frustrated in how to be myself in strange and alien world to my senses. Eventually I have made the decision that being true to myself is the most important thing, even if it means living an 'odd' life and knowing/communicating with people who accept me, even when they are totally different ages/stages to me or live half a world away.
I'm not writing this because I have some superduper perfect life. :D I live quietly and fairly reclusively at the moment because I have little money and less people who I share interests with in my vicinity. However, I am trying to push my boundaries and find ways to utilise my knowledge to help me make more connections, and be self-supporting.
I was etrrified of leaving university because my mind was set-up to believe I was a failure if I didn't take that route. I am not saying that you should leave either. But really, seriously think "What do I LOVE to do" - regardless of whether you feel any good at it. What inspires you and makes your eyes and heart light up inside? That is when you know you have found your pathway.
Music/Singing is what makes me light up, and I have been doing it for years, yet I still feel untalented quite often. It's part of the process, because whenever I reach a new level, I become aware of all the new hurdles I have to overcome. However, after Stewart told me to write my own music, that's when I really felt out of depth, never having tried that before. Creating songs with no prior experience of lyric writing, instrumentation, and many different ideas to music industry expectations etc...., but I keep on trying - lol.
It's the things that make you feel you'll give up all you know to pursue them for their own sake, and that you desire so deeply you'll jump over oyur fear just to see them in front of you.... The ideas and thoughts that make you stand up from your seat and yell YEAH! in public (lol), and puts a grin on your face that makes others laugh and smile. Whatever can make you feel like jumping on the furniture and doing a victory dance that involves head shaking, air punching, and karate kicks!:big grin::big grin::big grin::big grin::big grin:
Find the love of your life inside of yourself, and you'll know where you're going. :)
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