Help with a friend

[spottedowl]

Zodd,
The only thing I thought of when reading this is that u r trying to help a truly mind controlled individual , if she indeed is who u think she is and is not as greezy as he. We all have had moments in our lives that we had to break free from and WE had to do it. Know one can break her free but her.

To agree with the rest cut her loose it's not mean it is what it must be. She will find her way if she is meant to and u will not lose yourself in the proccess and frankly to even ask this question I. Hear means you know if u continue on this path u are harming urself

[Zodd42]

This is so crazy. I got an email from her the other day and...

She is pregnant! The weird thing is I couldn't be happier for her! She has kicked out this guy, and has totally changed. I cannot believe it. The thing I thought would be the worst possible outcome is actually the thing that was best. She hasn't asked for help, and seems very determined to do this on her own. What an insane life I live!

In other news, my own life has taken a dramatic upturn. I've been to NYC, met my all time favorite artist, and generally been hit with extremely positive people and incredible experiences around every corner. Awesome. Truly.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. This matter is officially closed! Feel free to continue the thread and post anything else you feel would be helpful or applicable. Thanks again all.

[MC]

I'm glad things are going well for you.As far as your friend is concerned,wait and see if it's a real change or if she'll go back to the same old thing.

[Anu-021413]

Sigh..I was reading this and I had to chuckle a bit. On the first post she asked you for money. You know her situation. On your response to her ,she gave you a sad story about a speeding ticket. In which she gave you a dollar amount that I assume she didn't give the first time around. I'm thinking,"ah the old ticket/crisis trick." Being in NYS, if she got a ticket she's due for a court date. In which case it'd be plead to something else of lesser value. Besides how'd she end up speeding if she's learning how to drive,or was this her driving lesson for Le Mans,or wait she's learning how to drift. C'mon now,it's a hustle. I've been there [your situation] and done that. Drug dealers usually always have money,so why would she be asking you for some if she's with one? Which BTW, is a poor choice. I agree,don't be an enabler. However I'd have been more direct about it. Users are losers in this context,and I'm betting you may not be the only one she hit up for some cash. Just my .02cents to her cause.

[Astrojewels]

Hi zodd42,

I am very happy for the opportunities that you have just had, well done and congrats. However I don’t see how this is the best outcome for your friend, she is going to have a child to a junkie, and how will she raise this child without money? I don’t see how he will just walk away when she has the child, sorry to put a negative to this but life with a child is incredibly difficult.

[Zodd42]

Let me clarify for everyone. I live in NY, she lives in TN 1,000 miles away. That is partly why the whole thing was so confusing for me.

It is bad Astrojewels, but this is why I think this is the best outcome for her right now: If she hadn't gotten pregnant she would still be spiraling down around the toilet. Since this happened, she is free of this junkie and his friends, and is making positive changes and attracting good people near her who want to help her and the baby. She is free of drugs and alcohol, and is working very hard to make this kid's life better than her own. She has no expenses since she lives with her guardian, and her Tenncare coverage will pay for her hospital stay. I know she will have help financially, and I would be very surprised if she didn't get a job during the pregnancy. Her life is improving because of this, and though it won't be easy I think it is exactly what she needs. I am by no means trying to make light of her situation, but it is HER situation. She chose it in one way or another, and this is because it is what she needed. Does that make sense, or am I just insensitive?

[Astrojewels]

I don’t think you are being insensitive zodd42, I really hope that the pregnancy does change her in a positive way, and yes it probably is the best situation for her right now, as it has made her change, but it will be a year or two down the road that she will feel the affects of this. I do not mean to be negative, but I am very opinionated when it comes to children, and people have no idea of the long term requirements of a child.

[Zodd42]

I really hope and pray that she can break the cycle that she was born into. She's a Pisces, so I think she will be much more nurturing than her mother (Taurus).... but females in her lineage tend to abandon their children in order to pursue abusive relationships coupled with hard drugs. It would be a tragedy to see that scenario unfold yet again.

You're right, I don't think she can even begin to understand the long term implications here. Then again, neither can I. My half-sister is almost 15, yet I can remember a time when I could hold her in my hand. It will be interesting to see how she's handling things in a year or two.

[Astrojewels]

As her friend, all you can do is support her to make her strong, not to hold her up. The genetic line can be broken as long as she really wants it to be, even though she is a Pisces.