Death and Dying

[Astrojewels]

Death and Dying

What I am about to discuss is sensitive, and can trigger some people, so please be cautious when reading - this is about death, dying and loss. 

I was chatting with MN about death, as you know she has just lost her grandmother; our conversation went on to personal likes and dislikes of funerals and death in general. So I hope its not a bad idea to extend this discussion here. 

Death of the physical body is guaranteed in life, it is part of your contract to live, yet it is also the most common fear; more people fear death than anything else. It is a topic that people do not like to talk about, because death awakens so many emotions and fears that it is painful just to think about. 

If the fear is separated into two basic concepts, it does change things a little, because most people are not actually scared of death, but scared of dying, the how it will happen is what arouses our senses into panic, because humans naturally fear what is to come, the future and basically just not knowing. 

Every person handles death in a different way, some go inward, some emotional and some tend to just accept it as part of life and move on, there is no wrong or right, it all depends on your persona. It seems that pre-funeral plans are very common, have you discussed with your family on how you want to exit this world, any preferences to what you want? Funerals are always morbid, sad and black, and it does totally depend on the age of the person that has died, a funeral of an elderly person is accepted more so than a child or younger person, I have attended a child’s funeral and it is one of the saddest moments of my life. 

For me personally, the difficulty I have when dealing with loss is the transition of energy that I know I have to enter, because once that soul has left the Earth- Plane, my life must change and it will never be the same, part of me has also died and time will help me to ‘accept it’ but that’s about all it will do.

So my question is firstly do you fear death or dying? Is there a difference

Have you ever discussed your own funeral to family?

Or is it just too sensitive to discuss?

what are your thoughts?

[Tyson]

i dont fear death no do i fear dying. once i am dead the process of this long dying will be done. i havent discussed it with my parents.

[Craig]

I fear dying but not death itself. I fear living as much as I fear death - why because I am afraid that I will be as disappointed with death as I am with living. Most of all I fear ageing...

I do not attend funerals and did not attend my grandmothers (mothers side). I think funerals have been commercialised as with everything else.

My grandfather (fathers side) is a stonemason/letter cutter and amongst other things makes gravestones for a living. As a child I saw many of his gravestones and loved to read them "In loving memory...etc ". Oneday I wanted to ask him to make one for me but subsequently changed my mind.

I think that people die because they choose to and that all deaths are suicides.

My family do speak about funeral arrangements. For me if I do decide to die I will not have a funeral - I would rather that my wife has more money if I do die. Also, where I live I have no friends or family and my wife has instructions to cash up and leave on the next plane so I care not what happens to me when I am dead.

Having said that when othes die it affects me deeply on an emotional level, especially when I have not been able to spend the time with that person or animal that I should have when they were alive. I love my grandparents dearly and I have not seen them for several years and I know that they will soon pass on and it is hard accepting that I will never see them again.

[Astrojewels]

So Tyson, when you say long dying are you referring to living?

 

 

Interesting Craig that you fear both in the same context, so are you saying you have never been to a funeral?

You are not alone with your requests, I know many that feel that way, and I also agree that funeral parlors take advantage of people when they are most vulnerable, however with that said, a funeral is closure and it unites people for the persons passing. Do you keep in contact with your grandparents?

[Craig]

Interesting Craig that you fear both in the same context, so are you saying you have never been to a funeral?

Do you keep in contact with your grandparents?

Interesting Craig that you fear both in the same context, so are you saying you have never been to a funeral?  I have been to a few funerals - the last one that I attended was for a cousin that died tragically in a car accident.  I did not want to go but did it for his family because we were so close.  I was older than him and he looked up to me - his life was rather sad. 
 

Do you keep in contact with your grandparents?  Before immigrating I spent every Sunday with them.  I phone them every three weeks or so, my wife also talks to them as well because she sees them as her own grandparents, the feelings are mutual.  I would phone more often but we have many people to phone.  Now and then my grandparents phone me (my mother pays for this).  My grandmother writes occasionaly.  We also exchange birthdays cards etc. My grandfather is nearly 90 and still works but is frail, so is my grandmother.  My grandmother always asks me if I am happy and I lie and say yes, when I ask how she is she lies and sais she is fine.  We both know the truth.  Talking is difficult though because we both live such uneventful and boring lives..

[Tyson]

yes AJ im reffering to living. maybe if some of us end up living forever well hey that would be swell!

[Tyson]

also i agree with craig that all deaths are suicides. just thought id say that before i forget, i meant to edit my post but its been too long..

[William]

I think about death and dying all the time it seems. Sometimes it does not bother me. Other times it does. Not all deaths would be suicide because some people do enjoy living and what they are doing and they want it to continue.
Yes, life in general could be a slow suicide, but that is just perspective.
Does a caterpeller commit suicide to become a butterfly?

[Tyson]

good question!

[Mercy Now]

This is truly a sensitive subject and many people won't even entertain the notion of discussing it. I don't understand that really because death is a part of living and we are all going to die one day.I've told my family that I am not to be buried (or else;-)) or embalmed.

I'm not afraid of death but I am concerned about dying if it involves suffering.