Hey Karen, sorry I didn't respond sooner, I have been chilling until the scorpio thing passed :dude:. I did start a couple of pieces in acrylic during this but they involve nudity (there's a surprise, eh? lol) I might do a detail of one and post it so it is G rated. The other is still too rough. Acrylics take me longer to do than watercolors generally and I need to make a palette adjustment in my colors to finish this last one.
In general deprogramming news I have been exploring the cat in my matrix, and also found a lot of stuff represented by X-Men symbology, also not surprising as I read those comics constantly as a kid. (Well, okay, I still occassionally look at one but it's just for the artwork :ninja:. That stays between us on this forum :big grin:.) Then I got back in this loop where I can't seem to get through basic chakra spinning and balancing. It is like I get re-booted. I get to yellow or green, then I just space out, then I can't remember what I was doing, then I do remember and start again and the same thing happens. Most of the time I eventually get through it but sometimes I don't think I am able to remember until later in the day that I didn't finish. It is very frustrating.
After having some things happen around my bed (or over it to be more exact) and hearing a lot of high pitched sounds I put sea salt under my bed and around the room. This has helped with most things except the inability to focus on hyperspace daily work. I believe this indicates self sabotage instead of external interference.
I am also caught in a loop of painting the same tree over and over again. I wanted to do some series but I really hadn't planned on doing this one. I have said I will paint it twice more then I really am moving on. I don't understand why I am so obsessed with this particular tree.
Lastly, I was out with my family for dinner and a woman came in that was of a different ethnicity, but she looked exactly like my mother, just dark skinned. I pointed her out and Russ agreed it was creepy. She even had the same mannerisms. Thing is when I looked up and saw her I felt complete abject terror. Unreasonable fear even though logically I knew it wasn't my mom. I have been working on the altar of release with my mother and seem to have gotten past a lot of the rage I felt toward her but I was not prepared for the fear she strikes in me, which obviously I was hiding under anger. I don't think most people are deadly afraid of their mothers and this is a little disturbing to me. When I talked to Russ about it he said he was terrified of my mother too, but I think a lot of son-in-laws are scared of their mother-in-laws so I don't think he counts :big grin:.
