HeadSpace..Deprogramming diary

[Astrojewels]

Sorry for your loss headspace.

[HeadSpace]

I've been running around like a madman these last days, I just cant get the ultimae violet protection technique working:? Like a elf magnet..

Any tips on that one?

How do you people do it?

[HeadSpace]

I made myself a bunch of laminated cards just now, with cherubin, archangels, dominions, angels, christ, god-mind and the lion archetype..I have two of the lion cards from before but the blue dot became too dark when printed out..

While cutting the edges and preparing the final touch on the angel cards I got very emotional and I think some relatives from beyond talked to me:) And when holding the wolf card I felt and saw a presence at the door, when I turned and I glimpsed my old friend which was a dobermanicon_rolleyes I got very emotional then also.. The reason this got my attention is that this happened after days in a elf fog where no sense of self is present and the only feelings that appear usually is confusion and dispair or just plain fear in my case when it's all crazy..

I tried doing the ultimate violet protection technique with all the cards in my lap and it went smoother but I still haven't got it.

[Polly]

Keep trying, keep trying, keep trying and as your mind becomes stronger you will be able to hold it.

[HeadSpace]

After sleeping with that bunch of stuff under my pillow..I still did not sleep better. But I think my dreams changed. And now when I'm up I notice a big difference, like something is holding me together:) I have the the angel cards in my pocket too.

I also tried putting the god-mind archetype at my pineal last night, I immediatly felt saomething but I'm not sure what. Things seemed more intense and I was laughing and feeling like a little kid:? I also seemd more together, and something changed in regards to personality or the compartments.. Then I tried the christ but I dont think I got it to work..After a hile I started feeling blank again and just without substance even tough something was improved. More focused and clear..

I also think my dreams were clearer now, but I did wake up like 4-6 times during the night because of elf and because the cards made it somewhat uncomfortable when they fell further down the bed:P I remember being in the garden of my parents house holding the wolf card and sort of making wolf noises, and while writing this something told me that place has a strong connection to my old dog friends:) We had 4 of those while growing up, all dobermans:D I really loved the last one, I was quite young when the other ones were here.

The last one was not a regular dog either:) He seemed much very like himself, extraordinarily beautiful.

--

About the dreams, I got glimpses of me standing by a white board or something with awful feelings having at it with scalpels and knives..I think I even saw blood coming out of it.. A lot of other sick stuff too.

One seemingly normal dream including people from my schooldays but in the end the setting shifted and I was in a crowded room, like a lounge or somethig and a female came over talking to a guy next to me. Didn't hear anything but i got the feeling she was somehow a high one ..within the/a matrix/ or just plain psychic but I felt something was wrong. Then her eyes turned white like in the movies..

I feel this violent stuff is connected to me being stupind enough to compulsively throwing a gold ankh in there when I was visualising:? I did not mean to do so, but I feel this is strongly connected to the ip.

After this when I woke up later again I felt as if there was a  me behind me at the steering wheel which seemed to be aiming at self destruction:( But I used the merger a while and things settled down.. I also think the cards helped me..

More sense of self today, even though I seem to be a different place today than yesterday or the day before..This one feels as if it has more depth or that it's vibration extends downwards as well as upwards but the donwards part is most prominent.. In other places I have no downwards at all, just upwards. And some nothing.. That probrably does not make any senseicon_rolleyes

I feel I have a better connection to my old friend now... So I guess the wolf archetype is connected to the dog..

--
Did/tried to do, the uvpt again just now, and I used a different approach.. I used that approach earlier when I first started using the technique.. Everything at once. Instead of laying  the parts together.. I couldnt make the whole appraoch a second ago so its' weird how it appeared now.

Something happened now though, but I'm not sure it works. It mighticon_razz
I'll have to move away from the computer from now on, I've been spending way too much time in front of it over the years..I noticed that when I used cannabis that it really affects you.. With canabis I could sort of meld with it, like with mushroomsicon_rolleyes

Not a good thing to meld withicon_omg Computers are weird on mushrooms by the way, like strange artificial lifeforms..Totally srewd up, very sad vibes:D

Thank you Polly, that little post actually did a lot for me,
And Jewels too;)

I just woke up by the way and it has become dark outsideicon_shocked The winter is here..almost. I've been sitting and trying the uvpt all night actually..yesterday too:?

I'll just change my mindset and hoipefully it will fall into place:)

[HeadSpace]

Just got a crazy idea, I think I might get a tatoo:D A royal blue circle and dot. Because even though I use it often, I cant get it to hold. I know htis is not a good thing to put out there since the universe is listening and all, but I tend to be extremely unstable and would be a perfect example of Bipolar:? I mean I can go from ecstatic to suicidal in about two minutes and a lot can happen in seconds too:P

I read that Rodrigo did this and I feel a circle and dot might help this. Along with perhaps a T-bar..i guess it would be beneficial for getting the pineal running too, but if I know myself correctly I might get an overactive one some day. I hope that could be managed though..

Does anyone know how this would be diferent from having a card with the blue circle and dot in the pocket?

Something for grounding would also be of benefit I think..

And I was wondering if you visualize whatever it is between or above the eyebrows where the supposed 3rd eye is or do you place it in the center of the head?
Thank you:)

[Astrojewels]

Headspace,

I can only recommend you speak to rod privately about the tattoos he has, one must be careful before ‘imprinting’ the physical body with a permanent picture, where and what is important and it will change your frequency.

Why not try some crystals for grounding, Orgone for sleeping and also for around your computer. Diet is also a big factor in grounding the body, stress and anxiety make it difficult to sleep, tai chi is a wonderful way to centre your electromagnetic field and activate the chakras to spin at their standard rate.

If these techniques are not working then you should look at alternatives, perhaps you are doing too many at a time, have you tried spending a couple of weeks with the one technique and focusing on what you want out of it?

[HeadSpace]

Actually, the techniques were easier a while back..Something has happened while I slept because I spun out into a frenzy the day the family member died and lost my calm..After that something has been sabotagin my the process.

I was actually planning on starting with tai chi or qi gong but I never got around to it, while writing this I sense that it would be good for me:) Probrably why I was driven to it in the first place.. I have not been spinning my chakras because I do not know the colours and to be honest scared of screwing it up. Before I met stewart and I just sort of cruised the programs I did something like that without the colors. I was just focusing on them and then energizing/activating them. I had no idea and was just fooling around.

I pay close attention to what I eat but I guess I eat to little, and I rarely eat meat. The only organic meat here is steak and it costabout 35 dollars..Not much of course but it can annoy me:? By 35 dollars I mean how much that would be in norwegian kroner.

I was also into crystals, I have a little quartz somewhere,a lapiz lasuli and gemisphere sodalite. The last one got broken because I was sleeping with it:P I might send it in for repair some day though.

I know they have a lot of other nice alternatives too, I got a copy of their book along with it. Very strange, I wonder if that was programming.

I heard someone say that too much orgone can be harmful, and I haven't really looked into it.

I think it would be best for me to avoid the tattoo afet all, I cant have any shortcuts. I've been told that very clearly:? Too clearly if you ask me..

I've been avoiding the quartz and the lapiz for a while since I felt the quartz were being manipulated or handled by others..I have no idea how to use it anyways.
The lapiz got me spooked because I felt I were attracting non terrestrial folks or aliens..Which I do not need, I feel I have enough of that already.

So if I were to get myself a another one it would have to be an earthstone or something, like onyx perhaps? I also have some amethyst lying around.

--

Just tried holding the amethyst and definetly works but I feel that if I make one wrong move I'll get very strong consequences. So I wont use them until I have a stabile mindpattern.

Ok I now feel very strange since I held that crystal, I have a whole other frequency and everything changes. So I'll need some calm onesicon_confused

Thank you for the response:)

What I'm now working on is developing some disipline and ending the victim stuff.

Something else I just realized which is blatantly obvious when reviewing my life is that I probrably very closely connected to the astral. When I think of something I can feel that which the tought is about coming at me. Regardless of what it might be. In other words, I guess the creative part would fit that I have a very intimate relationship with my creative abilities I think..Stewart also mentioned that he though I was very creative. So if anything at all it must be this you folks are aiming at.
So when in my mind it is as if I'm sitting on the edge of a sword and the slightest move can cause disaster:) I see this is a very good description. Coupled with something like compulsive thinking things can get pretty tenseicon_razz

This is actually a hundred times more intense than what it sounds like.


Nice to get out in words, it has been affecting my life in extreme ways and I never really thought about it.


Edit:

I asked the cherubin to help me heal my pineal and did the visualization. I now feel great compared to before:D I think the elf is messing with it.

[Polly]

HeadSpace, I think you put it in a nutshell when you wrote this:

"Something else I just realized which is blatantly obvious when reviewing my life is that I probrably very closely connected to the astral."

[HeadSpace]

As I read the idea of trying to pull out of astral came to mind, more of a realization and I now feel much better:D And more grounded, I also asked my oversoul to help me pull out. I'll work on it.

When I was out walking things were quite intense actually. Extremely unreal and believe it or not but the weather followed my thoughts:P But in that intense jungle, I've been there before many times some interesting realizations can occur. When the edge of existence gets shoved in your face change is inevitable:? But then I wander on and everything changes againicon_irre