Wondering What’s Next

[William]

  Thanks Richard, .....  To be truthful I am having Creative issues too.   For a long time ive been blocked from doing my creative thang.  I was thinking it was low self issues or? and  / I do feel like time is somehow different now for me.  ?   I have to force myself to do the creative things i want to do.......  I also would like to present to the outer world something that i would be really proud of, but as i keep changing so does my idea of what i would be proud of.......  If i had a tail i  would swallow it!

:paranoid:

[Avatar]

I know what you mean William.I feel creaitvely blocked sometimes but i know it is my Self Hatred that is creating that, so i focus on it and find it easy to address my creative issues once i have looked at why i am preventing myself from doing anything creative.

[xan-i]

Lol. William, first ya singin', "...shed my skin" - then wishing you had a tail to swallow!

:big grin:

Time to put the positive aspects of such symbology to use, perhaps...?  V-Cheesy

[PurpleParrot]

The ways that I feel the suppression: My fathers hospitalization, my failure in first semester of nursing school and inability to get readmitted to the same college, my friends death, my parents need to move to another home...then my unwillingness to do much(which is strange because I still want to travel the world, still want to learn all sorts of dances and languages, still want to learn all sorts of healing and see this world change for the better) except take a walk in natural settings, meditate with Oversoul and communicate with my departed friend.

My departed friend has been sending me lots of loving and healing energies to heal my emotional pain. I feel like I've got so much to release but then when I want to, I am not able to. It just sucks that he is not here physically. I know I will see him again..as he's been telling me that. I'm just afraid I might have to wait another time stream. Thus I need to work on abandonment/isolation issues. I just hope that an alien is not interfering with my communications with him.

My father on the other hand is crazy. I could get into a whole list of complaints about him but it just means I have to take a hard look at myself and release that. The easiest thing to say is that perhaps an alien is in the process of hijacking him. *shrugs*.

Sometimes I wish Oversoul would take me away also and let me deprogram away from physical reality.

The good thing is I feel like my communications with Oversoul are improving..I just haven't been able to sit through a deprogramming session. I manage to do lots of violet flushing and OS connecting...even chakra spinning..making sure I have the appropriate colors--I try my best to do merger and oversoul symbols. I keep my templates under my pillow. I haven't watched much tv. I listen to music but not always the radio...

I hang out with friends to avoid being depressed but then I get upset if I unintentionally get their energies..so I feel like I need to get away from them to violet flush. Sometimes my friends and I meditate with each other..sometimes I try to tell them about hyperspace/oversoul work.

peace

[Monica]

I like the "twilite zone" joke. :D

In March my Oversoul directed me to move to Auckland, which I did within two weeks. At first it was ok, but then everything seemed to fall apart.  I was working really hard on my mind-patterns, and trying to find music opportunities, but it really felt like everything I attempted ended up being blocked.  I made a lot of changes in my mind though, and wrote some new, deeper music.  But, everything felt so difficult.  I couldn't even seem to get anything together to get a normal job. 

In the end, I came back to my family's home, just so I could have a break.  Since I've been back 9one month) I have done almost nothing, and i still have to find work.  I have a possiblity, but I wonder if I am doing it because of the external energy being sent, or whether it is actually taking me forward faster to my goals. 

When i had my fist consult with Stewart in March '04 he said my career would take off in 18months-2 years, three years at most.  It's over two years now, and I still don't feel I have got that much closer.  There's opportunities that come up, and then fall apart again.  I was thinking about this thread last night, and I realised that I shouldn't beat myself up so much.  I am creating music that enhances self-awareness and deprogramming, with the intention of sharing it with people.... According to the Illuminati, I should be developing myself as a Monarch to help programme and trigger the masses!  No wonder they would want to push me down, when I have circumvented their plans for me.

I have seen this happening in other creative people too, whose music/art/writing is a threat.

We have to have a balance of knowing that our experiences our from our mind-patterns, and also knowing we are mostly highly programmed in an artificially controlled world. 

I am just trying to go one step at a time, and not get too upset about not doing everything I think I should in a certain amount of time.  I have asked my Oversoul to help me find the pathway thatopens up my goals to me for manifestation. 

------

On another note: does anyone feel like there are a number of timelines being played with at hte moment?  I can feel all these shifting linear energies in my mind, and it's like a weaving is occuring to bring certain ancient, simultaneous, interdimensional, and alternate realities together in a specific sequence, to imprint the NWO group mind on everyone.  When I think of the timeline I want for myself, I can feel how these other threads are trying to push it aside, or drown it in tangled confusion.

One thing that is important to me, is that I know the gender and names of my first two children (twins), to be born in the future, along with their lifeline influences, and why they're going to be here.  I talk with them on the Oversoul level a lot, and they were quiet for about a month, but now they've started visiting me, and seeming anxious about the timelines being distorted so they can't connect with this reality when they're ready to.  I know the veil is thinner now, and many people are seeing the 'dead' and astral layers.  I seem to be seeig the 'unborn'! 

Can any of you feel that our lifeline purposes are being messed around with - career, relationships, family, locations etc. - so we'll "forget" why we came here in the first place?

[William]

  My programmer would accuse me of changing the time line or the Akashic records, So monica before you said that about the timelines i was thinking the above, plus ive noticed time difference and just having a Consult with Stewart it just seems like my timeline is now up in the air.......  Fly like an Eagle.........

[Monica]

..... or a Winged Lion! :D

[Richard]

Janet said the plus side of the suppression is it gives us those areas a chance to come back stronger. Like when you compress a spring, it becomes stronger. The programmers know this and try to channel that energy into vents that they choose. They’ll create situations so that people can vent that energy. They design things to bring you down, to break your spirit, and cause you to give up. So we have to keep up our protection, especially when we’re sleeping.

[William]

 Let my spirit carry me away!

Tale Tale Signs in my Rhymes!

 

  Very interesting Richard.  That explains alot.....  Thanks for all the cool updates!

:dude:

[PurpleParrot]

The theme of my life has always been to be stuck in the worst of ruts and come out of it...and I have proven myself way too many times but the question is why do I want to challenge myself this way? Actually this time I don't know if I really did put myself in that rut six months ago...perhaps it was a test from Oversoul this time. *shrugs*

Well I'm not completely broken yet. I can still joke around and laugh. I may still cry about what all has happened but no one is gone forever and I know someone on the other side of the veil loves me as I love them and that should be enough for the both of us.

I may have a deathwish to die soon but just by saying that the Illuminati probably won't even give me an early death anyway lol..knowing them..if we speak of our plans, we unintentionally sabotage these plans from springing forth as Janet had said..and as my understanding from what Silver Infinity interpreted this as a while ago. So if we speak of our plans, perhaps the illuminati find ways to break it and not make it happen.

Perhaps I wonder if I beg the Illuminati for a horrible,tormenting,cumbersome, suppressive,painful life, they won't give that to me...hrmmmmm.

I'm here to stay, I have a purpose to fulfill. If the challenges are getting greater then it means we're getting closer..as I have learned from someone else here!

Many of my friends are waking up.

Monica I feel a conversation you and I had about seeing the potential in humanity....is something important...I think we should affirm humanity overcoming their problems and adversities easily...that humanity can attain its self actualization and full potential now.

Also,it is interesting you said something about twins because when I was a kid, I wanted to be a twin or I wanted a twin..or to have twins or triplets if I had children. I always liked something ideal about the bond between twins. I still wonder if I will find my twin in this lifeline..but it doesnt matter anymore it seems. The friend who has passed away is Oversoul family--I asked Oversoul in pale orange/brown block letters...I don't know about him being a twin. My departed friend was my child in another timestream(past life) that affected the both of us--its weird to know your children when they're nearly the same age as you and erm among other things.  I do also feel that another spirit who is supposed to be my child is hanging around me also. I've been thinking my deceased grandfather is also near me..even another departed friend. I would have thought they all would have moved on by now. Who knows. I have a wild imagination.

I feel like a timeline where I'm an old crone or old woman is affecting me. I easily remembered a few of my timestreams...before I thought this was something sort of impossible to do...and when I see others, I think I can see their time streams or their energies...its interesting.

William: I also feel like my timeline is up in the air as well. I don't know where to go or what to do except right now its inwards!!!!