a little advice please

[Andrea]

Tyson-
I must say its hard to understand how life has no allure to you at all. I find working to be a very satisfying experience, not because I "WANT" something, but because I GIVE somethiing. I love being able to help people. I found a profession where I am able to help enrich the lives of others (I give hemodialysis to patients with Kidney failure). It is very satisfying to be a person of service.
I remember being in my early twenties and asking God everyday "what am I going to do?" "What is the meaning of my life? why am I here?"
I wrote this poem about it called

The Reason of Me

Through space and time I travel, my destiny unknown and unseen.
With faith in God I am guided, to that plateau which harbors my dreams.
Each day offers other directions, and temptations which play with my soul.
Yet that constant guidance from above, propels me to my goal.
A goal which seems to elude me, yet I know in my heart it is there.
Just waiting for recognition, so for my destiny I can begin to prepare.
The meantime is about progression, a step further everyday.
Through work I gain material things, through love I learn to play.
Soon it will come and engulf me, enlightenment for the reason of me.
My purpose, my destiny, my fortune
Bestowed by the Power That Be.

To me life is about accomplishing whatever your purpose is...we all have one. If you feel you are on the path to fulfill your purpose, far be it for me to disagree. If not, maybe you just need time to do more soul searching.
Seek and you shall find.
And PLEASE get your GED!!! You wont regret it. :)

[Astrojewels]

still unemployed. i just dont see whats so alluring. i dont want anything bad enough to get a job i have everything i need. for now

Let me ask you a question Tyson that requires honesty “have you even looked for work”? and I don’t mean surfing the web.

[Tyson]

yes i have i applied at a few stores in my area.in my old area i had a chance at a baker but i wigged out around the third interview. i didnt feel right, my mother said to put my uncles as job experience when i had none. basically lying. so i ejected.. when i get my full license id enjoy a delivery job but thats either february or june with/without driving school. not that i really need it i just dont want to wait an extra 4 months.

and yes im waiting on my ged oppurtunity in june. how would i go about more soul searching? the only thing i can think of is the afterlife. thats what i want to explore. just slowly waiting. i have a memory i seek answers to. implanted or not. that is my only goal in life is to find out for real if afterlife exists. sounds like a waste i guess just sitting. observing. maybe i have self esteem issues like i cant do any job. thats what my parents said. i used to be depressed but that never reallky went away, i just became more laidback since i started self medicating with marijuana. still no motivation to work. i used to get some money but i dont do that anymore for my sake. i just dont know what to do with my life. its probably been put off like this for 5 years now

[beyondinfinity]

Have you thought about doing some volunteer work in order to have something to put down as job history? 

[Tyson]

yes ive done volunteer work at salvation army back in the earlier years of highschool..thats it though

[Astrojewels]

Tyson,

You are restricting your soul searching by doing what you are doing, the world offers you enormous potential in meeting your soul brothers and sisters, but you will never find them in your room or with books! And part of that is getting experience in your physical body with understanding others and the best way to do this I am sorry to say is through working and socializing, and even if you have to take jobs that you do not like, if you are spiritual you will look back and understand the reasons for being at that moment in your life.  

[Tyson]

i know i know i thought of that and i still do but. somethings holding me back. i dont know what but i cant do it sober because the marijuana helps me get through the day but i have to hide the fact im high all the time because its so frowned upon in my household and outside it. except for the hotbox cafe but thats not even in my town. its easy to get baked everyday but it would be alot easier if i didnt have to hide who i am all the time. its not fun having people think im on meth or crack because of things i talk about or question. i dont talk to anyone because i dont trust anyone i know everyone lies their face off to everyone they meet. i blame the media but how do you find people that can relate to you on your shores. i can only find them on the other side of the world through the internet because 92% of the population here is dumbed down and ignorant.

[RockNRollHippie]

I don't want to sound harsh or anything but I am hearing you come up with a lot of excuses.

I am no saint when it comes to employment, I have had so many jobs in my 28 years and I just quit my latest one this morning but I go and have a go and I have met some awesome friends and I have so much experience in a lot of fields that in the end, it's been worth the stress.

You may surprise yourself. Putting yourself out there is the hardest step, but when you recieve your first pay and are independent from your family you will feel a sense of satisfaction. Pot is also more enjoyable after a hard days slog ;)

Good luck to you :) the less you think about doing it and the more you do it the easier it is. Take it from me ;)

[Tyson]

lol ok guys my mind is set. after i gt my ged im going to get a job. i actually want to work up to being a detective so thats my goal occupation-wise. and iwas actually just thinking today how good it would be to smoke AFTER working all day. which kind of turned me a bit more to the right. anyways i also hope to go to college too maybe uni but who knows. but ill get on that money tip like everyone else. thanks everyone for your inputs

[Golden Winged SnakeOiLion]

i know i know i thought of that and i still do but. somethings holding me back. i dont know what but i cant do it sober because the marijuana helps me get through the day

discontinue doing that drug and think about what you mean with "job". While I know people who achieved a lot despite marijuana use, they all had similar symptoms of a blurry, phased-out mind.