a little advice please

[Tyson]

i cant discontinue use. its my all cure. headaches anxiety insomnia and it increases my appetite. i have to either eat it or smoke it. i cant eat more than a few bites

[Astrojewels]

If you do not work Tyson, how do you buy it?

[leah]

Ironically you wouldn't have those issues (headaches etc) if you never started the drug to begin with! They're withdrawal symptoms and they do stop after a while.

[Tyson]

leah if i never started the herb i wouldnt be here. i wouldve gone over the edge. either taken it out on myeslf or on someone else. im very unstable. and its the only thing that keeps me ok. and AJ i used to get it for free for awhile. i used to sell it. and grow it. i would sell my old stuff to buy weed. i dont see it as a bad thing though. but thats my opinion. leah, im taking a break right now. it hasnt been long as i just started this morning. and ive been smoking everyday, give or take a day here or there, for the last 2-3 years. im sitll not that far along but i tell ya i wouldnt even be here if it wasnt for mary jane. thats all i can say without rambling on and letting out bits of my life, as i dont talk much anymore it just wants to flow out.

[Astrojewels]

i dont see it as a bad thing though. but thats my opinion.

Tyson,

Yes this is your opinion, and I do not see you being able to discontinue use in the near future, you have convinced yourself that you can not function without the sedative feeling that it brings, but reading your posts I see you unable to function whilst enjoying the pleasure of being ‘comfortably numb’.

I understand that you are young and life is complicated, but you have to begin with what you do have and not focus on what you don’t, and as you seek advice, you should begin at home with your mother, the person who is unquestionably supporting you. Each day that you enjoy simply pleasures of taking a shower, using your computer, going to the fridge, your mother is the reason why, and you are disrespecting her. Your life could be lived in shelters or a cardboard box in the street, how bad would that be? could you cope? so you are not completely empty yet, and as a mother I can tell you we do give to receive, yet when our children are in pain so are we!

[Tyson]

i appreciate it AJ

[Tyson]

i know you guys dont know me too well, but im sure you can gather enough from my posts or threads. anyways. i need help again. what do i do when everyone around me thinks im crazy? i feel so alone. sometimes i feel like i would be better off in a padded room where i can cut off the outside world. i feel so... i cant even describe it. i really havent changed my suicidal ways except that i dont try it anymore but the thoughts dont really go away 100%. i feel like my time is coming soon but it may not be. i dont know.
sorry i had to get it out to somebody.

[Richard]

I know how you feel because a lot of people think I'm crazy too. Even my parents and relatives think that. One day I was having a conversation with my sister about how expensive heath insurance is and she said I should quit my job and go on disability. I said I can't do that because I don't have disabilities. She said you just tell them you're crazy. I said yeah right, I'm not going to pretend to be crazy. She said I wouldn't have to pretend. She said just talk like you always do. I couldn't believe she said that. So I know how you feel when most folks think you're crazy.

[Astrojewels]

Tyson,

We live in a very complex world, and I totally sympathize with you that you feel like a square peg in a round hole! Just like Richard, we have all had to face the jury, well that’s what I call it, it is a point in your life where everyone else around you seems to be against what you believe and voice their opinion, its like being in court and the evidence is against you but you are innocent, and how do you prove it?

You do not have the power to change others, and why would you, but you do have the power to change self.

[Golden Winged SnakeOiLion]

I have been in a similar situations and hardly got any positive resonance or reactions from people around me. I think it is because they do not get any positive vibes from anyone either. I felt bad when I was younger, because I thought that if these guys (I hung around with) were supposed to be my friends and treat me like that, then how much hell would be a life among enemies? I still occasionally think "I would never have said that to a person", when someone just said something stupid about me or to me. But it does not last long and I do not feel bad anymore, because I am to focused on what I want to do next. However - and that's the crux - I do no longer hang out with these people. I share nothing with them outside of any work related or professional situation where I have to. I avoid them and do not let them into my sphere.
There were a few however, where a better relationship was possible by changing the way I think, because there it was my fault of not understanding the situation and what is happening. You just have to know and understand their interests a little bit and see where they are coming from and usually they react positively when they know you have a little interest in what they love to see, read or do (whatever it is). I think that is a good way to go, as it could help to ease the situations with your neighbour, friends, family or even the illuminati next door.


[user=1343]Tyson[/user] wrote:

what do i do when everyone around me thinks im crazy? i feel so alone. sometimes i feel like i would be better off in a padded room where i can cut off the outside world. i feel so... i cant even describe it.