a little advice please

[Mercy Now]

Tyson,Excellent advice has been offered here.I think we've all been there to some degree.

[Tyson]

yes great advice. thx. im pretty much speechless with nothing to say...im actually feeling okay right now. do you any of you guys feel really drained during the days? like you just want to sleep? i seem to feel like this whenever i am sober. but when i smoke the mary i get energized. aside from last week i havent been sober, for that long, in years. and that week i was so tired.

[Tyson]

am i deadbeat because i dont have a job? this one gets me everyday.. am i stupid for refusing the life? am i brave, bold, weak, strong. opinions please as it could very well influence my choice on whether to jump off the fence or stay perched on top.

[Astrojewels]

Tyson, the global energy at the moment is tiring, overwhelming and intense, yet we have also began the journey of collective change, the expression you use to jump or stay perched is actually accurate of how so many feel.

When you say refusing the life, I assume you are referring to working, paying tax, flowing with society? Refusing it is just as harmful as actually regimentally following it!

True spirituality must be navigated by self through balance, because no one has the power over self like self, yet we are social creatures that want to experience love, heartache, disappointment, excitement and guidance, and life is truly about your story, a book about Tyson’s life! So each situation, occurrence, person and experience is another page for your book, and you ask are you a deadbeat? My question is “are you happy doing what you are”?

If you do want to change how people treat you, then I can only suggest again that you start with your mother, she is providing for you and you are an adult, show her some appreciation, only you can change the universal energy that you are projecting.

[Tyson]

im not so much happy but im content. although its a lot better than what it used to be. i just gotta get my g2 so i can drive and become my dream of pizza delivery lol my dream is actually racecar driver like my uncle but i need money first. which is why im going to need a job. thats not a need though. all i need is food shelter and i already have those. do i need these wants? this is why im stuck on the fence post

[Astrojewels]

 all i need is food shelter and i already have those. do i need these wants? this is why im stuck on the fence post

No Tyson, you actually have a home which is entirely different to just food and shelter. And the only way to find out if you need these wants is to go out and live without them.  

[Tyson]

i mean the wants i would have if i had a little bit of money. i already dont have them, i have my needs

[Askilla]

Quit the drug, it is the reason why you lack drive to do anything - the chemicals within it are altering the chemistry in your brain. You also have to quit thinking solely about you and reach outside into the world. Wake up and appreciate the people around you, remember this : they won't be here forever, and can be taken from you anytime.

We are all here for a reason, we all have our part to play. Even your simplest actions could help someone, why I reckon you should enter voluntary work again and help some old folk or young kids out. You might not get paid but you can see what difference you can make to other peoples lives.

----- YOU are responsible for YOUR LIFE
----- YOU are responsible for how it turns out
----- Stop thinking and get out there!

You got to stop procrastinating and waiting for someone else to hand it to you.

Start small, help your mother with the house - clean up one day. Next day clean up again and maybe add cooking dinner. Sign up for voluntary work again. Make an effort to get to know people and interact. Have a goal or something like making at least one person smile.

Over here in Aussie with have a campaign against depression:
ABC
Act: Become socially, physically and mentally active
Belong: Get involved with family and community activities
Commit: Commit to a challenge or cause that provides meaning and purpose in your life.

That's basically all of it in a nutshell - because honestly you are not crazy, you sound like you are being followed by a black dog.

[Tyson]

thx for your advice. just so you know i will not be quitting this "drug". its a naturally grown plant, it happens to give me to motivation to do thing to become social to become active so quitting it is a no. i simply dont want to do it. so its not this drug, as you call it. i got it though. its just the depressed thoughts that get to me when im sober that seem to bring me back here asking for advice haha

the way this wonderful herb cures my depression is rather simple. one or two puffs and the depression goes away. especially because i keep my tolerance low i only need a pinch or two to get high. its not like a high where im stoned out of my mind watching tv and stuffing my face full of junk food or incapacitated where i cant speak or think. no, its a high where all the negative thoughts do not enter and i can continue to live life as you guys do. when im sober i dont want to participate at all so no blaming the marijuana okay?

[Askilla]

Good luck to you ;) I remember when I tried it I hated memory loss and the fear of the police coming to get me :P

Uranium is naturally occurring, you won't see me eating it to attain a natural glow :P

The fact that it is naturally occurring was the exact excuse I used when I was young to experiment with it - I wouldn't touch anything manmade etc - but honestly it is an excuse rather like you can reason that chocolate is a vegetable and we can eat as much of it as possible regardless to the fact that if we did, we'd higher our risk to weight gain, diabetes which would lead on to loss of eye sight (not to mention that it's probably 4% cockroach - which again is a natural occurring creature).

You need to discover and learn to find out who you are without the herb, you use it as a crutch and safety net which means you are not living a full life- rather a half life.

I remember a sense of peace you do get (remember listening to a great track of Alice in Chains at the time) and appreciate what you are talking about - I can tell you now you can have that peace, that feeling without it. I myself can get it in a moment of solitude with just me and nature  while watching the sun setting.

That aside - you need to deal with your depression. Depression is your main issue here, you've got to figure out what is causing it - whether it is caused by something that happened to you in your past that you've blocked or it is a chemical imbalance in your brain. Speak to a medical practioner maybe? Do some soul searching yourself.

Looking through this site, some might suggest you've been programmed maybe - my understanding in this area is really limited but others here could help you.