Need some advice....

[RibbonInTheSky]

I hope I have posted this in the right forum.

Anyway, I would like for you to shed some thoughts on an issue for me.

I have two friends. Lets call them Hansel and Gretel. They have been together for a while and very much in a serious committed relationship. They were planning to get married. The full works. 

I am close to both of them and we have a great friendship.

One night, Gretel calls me and she is in tears. She has just discovered that Hansel had been unfaithful for four months (he confessed after the affair was over).

She is shocked and in disbelief. She can't believe that her 'soulmate' has done this to her. I feel sadness for both of them.

After ALOT of talking, Hansel felt that it was best to end the relationship. She felt that 'true soulmates' would never commit infidelity or hurt their s/o like that. (What made it worse is that there was an emotional connection between Hansel and the 'other woman'.)

We deliberated over this theory, and she is now unsure of where she stands.

My questions: Do you think that a soulmate would commit infidelity? Do you think it's best for her to do the Swerdlow exercises (releasing) and try to find her 'correct' partner? Take this as a sign from the universe?

Thoughts? Thank you.

 

 

[Polly]

Yes, a "soul mate" could commit infidelity.  This is the earth plane.  And no, I do not think it would be a good idea to marry him at this point.

[Pallas]

I fully agree with Polly. Some people are not constituted to be faithful; for others, unfaithfulness is a symptom of something awry in the primary relationship. Whatever Hansel's reasons were for engaging in the affair, it's clear his perspective/values about the relationship with Gretel were not the same as Gretel's. It also sounds like he's not interested in working out the disparities to save the relationship. Unless that changes, Gretel's final loving act might have to be to allow Hansel and, more importantly, herself to move on.

[Astrojewels]

Thoughts?

 

First thing that Gretel needs to analyze is why did she truly feel Hansel was her soul mate and what does that word ‘soul mate’ actually mean to her? She cant just go and do techniques to find another, she has to discover why she experienced this first in order to change the pattern of energy.  

[RibbonInTheSky]

Pallas[/color]]I fully agree with Polly. Some people are not constituted to be faithful; for others, unfaithfulness is a symptom of something awry in the primary relationship. Whatever Hansel's reasons were for engaging in the affair, it's clear his perspective/values about the relationship with Gretel were not the same as Gretel's. It also sounds like he's not interested in working out the disparities to save the relationship. Unless that changes, Gretel's final loving act might have to be to allow Hansel and, more importantly, herself to move on.

So you think that some people are naturally polygamous? I do agree that there was a breakdown somewhere.

I agree.

[RibbonInTheSky]

Astrojewels[/color]]Thoughts?

 

First thing that Gretel needs to analyze is why did she truly feel Hansel was her soul mate and what does that word ‘soul mate’ actually mean to her? She cant just go and do techniques to find another, she has to discover why she experienced this first in order to change the pattern of energy.  

They had a connection on different levels. Emotional, physical, intellectual etc etc. They were the type of couple who could finish each others sentences, and their values and goals in life were very much in sync.

I told her that she should slow down. But when the pain is raw, people do all sorts of things to fill the void. Sleep around, get depressed, find a rebound etc etc.

[RibbonInTheSky]

Polly[/color]]Yes, a "soul mate" could commit infidelity.  This is the earth plane.  And no, I do not think it would be a good idea to marry him at this point.

Neither do I.

[Pallas]

RibbonInTheSky[/color]]

Pallas[/color]]I fully agree with Polly. Some people are not constituted to be faithful; for others, unfaithfulness is a symptom of something awry in the primary relationship. Whatever Hansel's reasons were for engaging in the affair, it's clear his perspective/values about the relationship with Gretel were not the same as Gretel's. It also sounds like he's not interested in working out the disparities to save the relationship. Unless that changes, Gretel's final loving act might have to be to allow Hansel and, more importantly, herself to move on.

So you think that some people are naturally polygamous? I do agree that there was a breakdown somewhere.

I agree.

I think that the sexual behaviour of humans mirrors the behaviour of other animals, i.e. if polygamy (or any other sexual behaviour) is "normal" for some other species, and it is, then it's going to be an innate tendency for a subgroup of humans. 

Having said that, affairs occur for many reasons, so I'm not suggesting that a polygamous nature in Hansel is the cause here - just that it's something to bear in mind.  If you are contemplating a relationship with someone and they've never been faithful in the past, they're not likely to be faithful to you either.  If fidelity is important to you, you need to discover your (prospective) partner's tendencies and take these into consideration - you can't make assumptions, particularly when the feelings of connectedness are strong.

AstroJewels wrote:

First thing that Gretel needs to analyze is why did she truly feel Hansel was her soul mate and what does that word ‘soul mate’ actually mean to her? She cant just go and do techniques to find another, she has to discover why she experienced this first in order to change the pattern of energy.

I think AJ's right - there could be some huge lessons in this situation for Gretel about the nature of love, expectations, and self-regard. It's quite possible that her "correct" partner will appear when the lessons have been learned.  Until then, she risks repeating the pattern established with this relationship.

[Polly]

I simply think that whatever brought on this betrayal could be resolved with the right kind of counseling (both willing) which does not necessarily mean they will still want to be married afterward.  There could be karmic betrayal energy between them or there could be interference from other sources.

[Astrojewels]

There could be interference from other sources, this is common for people that are soul connected, but over the course of any relationship there will always be temptations to betray your partner, and it basically comes down to trust, so these two could have counseling, but in her heart of hearts could she truly trust him again?

The greatest hurdle will be the emotions attached to the change, the break up and her being alone once again, and this is what will need the most work, she needs to trust who she is and be confident in what she has to give because a relationship is about the growth of two souls, not really the connection or merging because this just flitters away after a short time.