HeadSpace..Deprogramming diary

[HeadSpace]

I was taking a salt bath and before that I consumed a bunch of herbal capsules,chlorella and some good vitamin mineral supplements.. I felt much better but while in the bath some creature or something did something to my left side and then something changed with my memory or sense of self.. Seemed foreign..

I need to start doing the protection techniques, but I feel they are a bit more difficult than the basic merger and stuff..

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Simpsons was just on and pentagram appeared, I then got a little nervous and then some compulsive stuff happened and I then feeled the atmosphere change. Much colder.. Not good.

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Something I read somewhere some years ago in a online test designed to figure out your body type, it was based on vedic medicin. I was recommended to eat a spoonful of honey and pepper for breakfast each day:P I have started doing it again and it tastes fantastic :D

[Astrojewels]

Honey is a great way to start the day, as long as it is pure and not bottled full of glucose. I think you should re-read your posts here and take an outside look at what happens when you do the merger and the techniques before going to bed.  Look within for assistance just for a few days, see if that helps, you will not find anyone who can totally solve these attacks, the person you need is there with you all the time, will never leave for any reason, and will never do the wrong thing by you, it is the reflection in the mirror, yes it is you, try to depend on that person just for a few days.

[HeadSpace]

I dont have natural honey here, just the regular bottled one..I will get myself some bee pollen soon:)

I did the merger today, almost and had effect. It's just that I had so much manipulation..And I had problems taking a stand as I was pushed into some very inactive victim mentality..

It always boils down to me, thats correct, even when everything looks like I have no way of fixing things..

You seem to be a very good influence on me and I value your words, they help each time:) And I noticed you also fit in each time I see whats going to work, theres something telling me to listen to you;) I think that might be my oversoul.
It has to do with those times I find the solutions..hard to explain.

I will get myself some new herbs and supplements soon, I'm going to try inositol and cholin, never tried that before.

I am still struggling with the physical thing I mentioned and thats seriously annoying, it has been 10 days now:? with very little food. and I've been watching food on the telly all night:P I found out I'm going to visit malaysia at some point, it looks great:D

The annoying thing is that if I had the uvpt I could heal the physical thing much faster and with less trouble.

I just considered visiting the doctors office to hear what they say, but I cant say theres demons messing with me and stopping me from fixing this either.:?

I hope it all works out, it has to.

Sorry about the weird information..i know theres symbology invoved too, and I should work on that part.

[MC]

Where in the hell do you think the uvpt is going to help you?You are the only one that can help yourself.And you don't want to,and because you don't want to you send me PM's and mail every day asking me to do it for you.Where do you get off thinking that someone should be available for you 24 hrs a day,at your beck and call?You whine every day on this thread."Please feel sorry for me","I really need the uvpt".You don't know what the uvpt does for you,because you've never done it yourself.I am not going to do anything on you anymore.You find a victim,in this case me,and you hook on to that person and expect that person to do various things on you to help you every day.

[HeadSpace]

Ok:)

I'll stop with the PM's, I was sort of panicking.. The point is that things change very very suddenly for me, and the everyday reality has been absent the last month.

I'm not always sure how to fix these things and sometimes it looks as if the uvpt could help, which it could. It has to do with the physical,  the demonics has been manipulating my body. I dont know if I mentioned that, so if the uvpt was active I would not have that in addition and be better able to take care of the physical aspect. Stewart mentioned I had a block when it came to the pineal in case anyone was wondering.. I have started trying out though. But I need to get more calm and centered before I do that, a lot of triggering and sabotage has been related to visualizing for me.

Dont know if I should write this either. Sorry for the PMs.

I know I should do everything myself, but as for the physical aspect I am not quite sure how to go about it. It doesn't feel to good to go withut nutrition for that long, I haven't eaten this little ever:) And I guess I've become slightly whimsy.


Solving the physical aspect would help me with the rest.
I always land on my feet, so I need to just think a little. Sleep has been an issue, I woke up with fever symptoms today and feeling very weak.

Theres a lot of complaining here yes, but I also use it to release the the pressure and diffusing it. That has been one of the reasons why I write here.

But I guess I should keep it in a physical book or a textfile. Not a bad idea actually.

Thank you for the feedback:)

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Any advice on the physical stuff? I would really appreciate it.

[HeadSpace]

Whats really annoying is that they have messed with my head, I've had pains and sensations on the brain. Not fun, that and heat. While I often freeze physically. I'm not complaining, just describing some of what has been going on. That and sensations in the stomach and the body in general. And threats.

The one with head is very unsettling. Any advice on how to deal with it, I made progress today but then it reappeared and was stronger..

[Astrojewels]

Headspace,

The reason why I fit in to your thoughts is because on a higher level, I tell you what you already know, but you are not listening to yourself, you need to hear it from another, this is classic programming, and most of the time you are not listening to me.

Let me present you with an analogy, which I want you to think over.

 

Imagine we are both standing at the edge of a very large pool, the pool is clear and the bottom is visible, I have a bag of 100 small stones, blue in color, I can throw them all at once into the pool, if I ask you to retrieve them, can you retrieve them in the same manner in which I threw them- all at once? Impossible!

 

You are trying to retrieve all of your feelings, emotions, thoughts, and actions all at once without coming to the surface for a breath of air! You have to pick one up at a time, there is no other way. Start at this very moment to change something, go and eat an apple and tomorrow eat two and so on. Each stone you pick up, there is less to retrieve!

[HeadSpace]

I got a small bottle of something which should help me out.. I stocked up on fruit:)

You are right, and I am grateful for your help:)

I have had a serious temperature on the head tonight:? And freezing in the rest of the body. Strange.

Someone also just projected something through me at someone, it wasn't good at all. I did what I could to take it back.. And had a voice tell me I was now the target.

I know the feast is approaching, I look forward to the holidays ending and things settling down.

I ate a pear just now too, it will work out.
Being active and having stuff to do is very helpful for me.

I have learned a lot during the last month, and I know my self better in new ways..
Not to mention the programming part.

I thougth about painting the flat soon too, I thoguth of royal blue, violet, ice blue nad brown, but a lot of these would probrably be too much for most people. I feel ice blue appeals, creativity:) For the living room? crazy?

I had ice blue in a bedroom at my parents house.. That felt very very cold actually. But I was very addicted to music and stuff back then so it might have worked.
I Guess that was no coincidense either..

The temperature is really intense.. Too much.

[Astrojewels]

If you are going to paint, try a feature wall in each room instead of all the walls, and think what each room does for you, then go with the appropriate color, ice blue is not really a color that I would paint, it is the most difficult color to put your body in, but it can be soothing in wet areas like the bathroom and laundry.

[HeadSpace]

I noticed the bedroom had a sort of humid atmosphere:) It was below ground though.

If you have any color suggestions that would be great, violet bedroom sounds nice I think:) And I really like blue, always did. It reminds me of me:P Or something like that.

All the rooms are white now and I tend to see astral stuff there, reds and movements and waves, and that stuff.

I could get myself a simulation program for the computer:) That could help me out.

Could have brown as a 1 meter line at the bottom of the wall for grounding, but I guess that would look horrible..I'll think it overicon_razz

I did consider myself to be good at this type of stuff..I have just been very strange for a while now.

I also look forward for a programming scan from stewart soon, that will be interesting.

Happy New Year by the way:)