HeadSpace..Deprogramming diary

[HeadSpace]

I was just eating and thinking about what my personal archetype might be..And I saw the wolf archtype in silver, the background was the same as the angelical ones but with only one pillar. I do not know if this is has anything to do with my personal archetype though. I do not have the uvpt up and running as I thought and it might just be nonsense to. Interesting nonetheless

I was thinking about letting stewart find it for me, but I wondered if I should find it myself:) But I'm not sure I would understand it. I did see and feel some wolfish stuff after I saw the archetype but I see and feel a lot of weird things anyway:?

[HeadSpace]

I had meat again last night, and the buzzing became as lot milder and I felt more grounded and calm. I also slept much more calmly.

I often get those little needles or the thing where it's like someone poking you with a sharp object. I get that alot, especially at my genitalia:? Not very fun..

Well, I got some of that in the middle of the night and I woke up. There were some toughts up and running too which was not beneficial. The sad part is that I get toughts I do not create but it seems another hidden part comes up with them and often does some serious sabotage.

I got an idea then to release all supressed information in the bodyparts relating to the sexual and I immediatly got a big black cobra thrown in my face with something like blueish or green eyes. I felt it was a warning sign. It was very clear regarding who it represented..

Also tried putting one of the pictures from silverinfinitys sexual deprogramming up at the pineal gland last night and I became much happier right away:)

[HeadSpace]

I wrote some stuff to put here but it got lost due to the time limit on the edit function.

I tried SI's specific deprogramming themes, dont remember if itwas called that. But I did the monarch, dragonfly and greenstar. Afterwards i felt much better and sensed change. I have retrieved something, more personality. the original stuff I think.

But I do wonder if I did something wrong regarding the specific programming themes, because I also feel a slightly bigger separation between me and my oversoul:? And more physical.

Apart from this I also experienced some weird stuff, but is confusing and hard to explain.

Another thing I wrote in the previous attempt to post was that I remembered something from my teens and that I actually seemed to be interested in satanic stuff, as in I had a pentagram and other stuff lying around. I do not know why, I attracted it. Along with a very rebellious nature, I was actually criminal in my teens and found joy in doing damage to it all:?  I am not proud of it. I see it was cannabis which got me out of the somewhat violent and destructive behaviour and in to a hazy dreamworld instead:P There I lingered for quite some time, and the years passed.

My memory of childhood is quite strange and fragmented, I was very driven by the subconscious. That continued far out in to the teens. As the satanic stuff may imply..

Some parts of childhood feel very dense and as if it was a alter. Like my entire being was somewhere else and I was just sailing along in a daze. That was my years from the first school and up to the junior high, at junior high the period I mentioned started.

I can feel that the part of me in early childhood which was almost not there was very much abused in some way, I think the astral activity was at its highest then.

[Astrojewels]

Headspace,

This is very common to feel this way about your childhood, between the ages of 9-14 is when the chakras begin activation, and depending on your genetics it is the time that puberty begins, programming is triggered, it is a time of confusion with the transition of child to adolescent and the reason why so many children at this age become angry and emotional, they are being targeted at the base chakra.

If you are genetically programmed; this is also the time when the parent who holds that programming is triggered to trigger you, many programmed people can honestly say that they had a good relationship with that particular parent until a certain age, or that time of their life is a void, and they have little memory of it.

If the child is not triggered and targeted at this age then the chakras can not be infused by the energy of the programming.

Yet this is seen as the moody teen, going through the change, all that and the real problem is not dealt because most parents do not know.

[HeadSpace]

Me and my father was very hostile towards each other that period, I mean he really changed his behaviour towards me at some point where it seemd like he directed most if not all of his personal problems and anger at me. But I dont see how I can blame him, most parents would have sent me to an orfenage(?) anyways.

I'm trying to make the wolf archetype I saw but MS paint dont have the corret silver:P It turns out grey:?

I like that archetype, wonder what the silver means.

[Polly]

I'm very interested in knowing what iqhunk has to say about your natal chart, HeadSpace, in regards to possible moon child programming.

[Polly]

I also have a question for iqhunk concerning your astrological energy, HeadSpace, after he looks at your chart and posts in this thread.

[HeadSpace]

Although I might not always like myself, I do like my chart for some reason:D Weird..
And it feels strange..

I was in a funeral today, while in the chapel I think I liked the atmosphere. Could be a nice place to trip or something:P When the people beguin to sing and stuff I felt some really weird vibes. I guess it was love or something:? And the effect of sound was more pronounced in there. A relative I never really met before performed his own tune too, with a guitar and I remembered how much I love that instrument:) I think he sang performed very beautifully. And I noticed that I got that little astral or mushroom effect on the music again. I became relegious right there and started to love those weird christians:D But that happens everytime I feel anything in regards to music. It makes me relegious. The guitar is really something beautiful I think.

In contrast of the organ they play down thereicon_ahhh

Gotta say, a couple of years ago on lsd I listened to jeff buckley and that was quite incredible, but I am very certain that he was programmed, very much so. I feel I know it. I really loved the song corpus christi carol that time, it was gripping. And the fact that he was a male seemed just crazy. I really drowned back then. he was androgynous I believe, it came through in his songs too.

He had something I really love, but it tears me apart, and it is a major key in regards to programming on my part.

The flashing lights and dots first came one night while I was listening to him after drinking some strange brew, not drugs but a scary mix of herbs..I tend to be or at least have been very sensitive to drugs and herbs of any kind.

The benches in the chapel were navy blue and the priest wore a white robe with purple ribbons:) I sensed the astral when the music hit, I always do. But in there I felt it was okay.

Music is really beautiful, it's just a shame to see it being used for programming and imprinting as it is today. I have also listened to and always attracted music which was very full of triggers and subliminals I think.

In my rebellious years I liked trance and that stuff, to be honest I still like some of it when I have had too much coffee or cacao or something.. There is a lot of horrible electronic music and trance but there is something there too. Not for every one of courseicon_razz It's not about beauty but just letting the mind catch a plane or somethingicon_rolleyes Energy... I dont recommend it as I'm sure it is very unhealthy. I liked everything that could get me away when I was younger and I aimed for the stuff that worked. The rythm thing sort of fits my mind somehow too, it did anyways.. Awkward stufficon_lol

I read somwhere that capricorn could be into technical music like electronic or classic..Maybe thats it. I like a lot of classical music too, but I get weird when I listen to it.

Edit: Oh, and the song called Je n'en connais pas la fin is really lovely:D

[iqhunk]

Plenty of info in your chart... am just outlining the basics.

Your Ascendant is in Capricorn and Asteroid Siva (male counterpart of Kaali) is precisley conjunct it.
No wonder you saw a red moon when the full moon was in Capricorn.
Your Moon is ripe for programming with a perfect trine (120 degrees) to Saturn.

Asteroid Sumeria also squares the Moon precisely, while conjuncting Venus in Scorpio. Middle of Scorpio, trining Star Sirius.
This can be a facilitation for programming from Astral Entities. Venus may rule earthly love and material values in classical Astrology, but it is also home to huge Reptilian Nests.
Jupiter conjunct Mars is one major plus in the chart.

[HeadSpace]

Interesting:) But I don't really understand what that means though:P Looks like your pretty well versed in the stuff:)

The stuff about the astral folks does not surprise me:?