HeadSpace..Deprogramming diary

[HeadSpace]

A little coincidence..As I shifted in to that different persona my father just arrived in town:? He visited here to pick up my brother just now and it seems the distance between whatever compartment it is and my main personality is diminshing:( I guess that is a sign of him fitting the role as a handler?

I guess you all figured it out on your own, I did not mean that it was diminishing, but increasing:P

I'm also wondering what the nature of these lightpoints showing up are, like little dots of lights just popping up sometimes. I think it is triggers, sometimes red, either light, medium or dark red. Or light, dark, medium blue. Different kinds of greens and brown has shown up occasionally. Even black:D these are not the same as those other light things which I felt were beings.

Some new age chick who is into angels claimed this phenomena was angel messages, but theres also a bunch of people thinking those numbers are from angels too. I dont think either of those are true. I do see odd numbers, often on digital clocks I see the same number on both sides of the :

Something else I get often, many times a day is physical stuff like the feeling of little needles or punctures and cold/hot sensations.

I thought this information might be of use to anyone since I was once quite curious myself:)

Another strange thing is that several times now when I've looked at my astrological chart and read sun : sagittarius I see/feel mushrooms or the landscape of mushrooms and fragments of arabic stuff. I cant see the details yet but I think things are getting clearer:)

Once on something, I was out walking while I suddenly felt like an arabic prince and since i've sort of felt some appreciation for the arabic culture:? I was told I had another incarnation as a khazar warrior, I'm not sure but are those arabic?
From what I've read I think they were mostly turkic.

That vision might be programming though..

I also felt some lizzie connection to the word khazar at some pointicon_rolleyes I dont know if there was any connection though.


Edit:

Ok, a prince might have been an exaggeration:P I felt noble or royal..Dignity I guess, or something:D I was a bit dreamish at the time...

[HeadSpace]

Ok, I decided to ask about my astral attachment and how to release it. While I asked it started moving in, and I became what you might call demonized.. Cold, angry, capable of hatred and no compassion:? It is not fun, on top of this it also stimulates my sexual drives.. And as I got increasingly pissed off at this it seemed I just sank deeper in it. Not fun.

I tried the ultimate violet protection technique and then cutting what I saw as a brown line with violet scissors as I read someone tried that somewhere on this forum, don remember where. The heavy vibration in my base chakra ceased and I thought things were ok, but I was still in that unpleasant mood. And as I got angry about this the vibe came back:(

If anyone have any idea about how to break the connection I would be thrilled. Also, since stewart mentioned the demonization was in one of the alters why would it be apparent in the main personality..Unless I'm in an alter of course, which could be..Something did happen earlier and I did suspect I was in a compartment but I'm not quite sure.


Edit:

I had a squirrel with my oversoul. I asked for it to release the connection again, and after releasing the destructive sexual energy upwards I asked for lion frequency, uvp, and something along the lines of performing merging the cube in such a way it would equal 100 exercises:P

I'm not quite sure I got the last one though:?
And I'm not sure about lion frequency either..

I do feel a major difference though, earlier I asked to meet my inner child and I suspect that is closely connected to my sexuality and that a lot of programming is based on that. This might be connected to that question.

Hard work, I'm a bit worried about that attachment thing, it can make me really tired all of a sudden too, and I think it's the attachment who makes me go into that hypnotic trance sometimes..

[Astrojewels]

Headspace,

If you have an attachment, it could be in an alter or it could be in your core, and if it is in your core then it will enhance activations in order to have more control, because each time you go into an altered personality you actually increase the power of the attachment, and it will be in all states of your personalities.

attachments are connected through the solar plexus, and from behind you, that is how they create so much power within a person, because most programmed people focus on their past, you can not rid it by just doing techniques and it depends on if it was born with you or attached during your chakra activation, there are many different forms of demonic attachments.

It takes a process of equal intention through physical and non physical methods because the attachment is part of you, and the focus should be the solar plexus.

[HeadSpace]

I was told it was attached while still a fetus..
And I really feel it in my lower charas, don feel much in my solar plexus at all actually.
By physical methods you mean sexual deprogramming?

while watching a video of stewart on youtube today I heard him say that the khazars were the leftovers from atlantis, but after the lizpeople modified them  and that some of that bunch became the illuminati:?

[HeadSpace]

Struggled with the attachment yesterday, and today I went blank again:? Extreme energy and focus, as well as a strong feeling of unease. My eyes change and the upper part of my eyes lose that bow, or almond shape and gets sort of flatter.
I know a guy on the net which was told a demon had his soul, he was told this by a person which claims he can see souls and spirit. The point is that I felt we had a lot of the same issues, the descriptions match and I think he also has an attachment. The blank feeling can make me feel as if someone actually took my soul:(

And that is unpleasant. I've regained something I consider to be myself now but I'm confused about how to make this heal. My oversoul seems to have gone on vacation.

This has a way of putting me in a very strong victim mentality, quite easily too.

--
5-10 min later
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I am not quite sure, but if it's true (and I hope it is) the alter which was demonized may now have merged with the main personality.

Since the demon manipulates the base chakra which rules the survivol instincts and "the guts(?)"  it may be a part in creating that hopeless state where I sometimes feel as if it is all over and that there is no way to healing...No energy levels either:P

Really funicon_schiefguck

I also notice that anger makes it easier for it to latch on, and it seems to be directly linked to it. Also, it does seem to have something to do with what is called lust..I seriously dislike that word, and I'm not fond of the actual sensation either.
But sometimes when I'm in a semi-conscious state it seems to be throwing all sorts of scenarios and projections at me and sometimes I seem to go along without thinking, since I'm not really conscious.

That is annoying, also have truly disturbing dreams sometimes. But I may have gotten desensitized over the years:X

I'm sorry about the bad vibes, but since it's a diary I thought I should write it down:)

When I am in that confusing blank state I get the feeling that everything is false and that I've never been real at all, thats confusing and a bit annoying.


I would really appreciate it if anyone knows anything about the khazars by the way:)

[HeadSpace]

Dont know how, but I just found myself in something I first thought was an alter, there are mental structures and mindpatterns from my schooldays and I asked what it was and someone said supressed memories..Dont know if it was my oversoul or not, still trying to find it.

I'm confused:? I feel more insecure and like the world is bigger like it was when i was a child..

And regarding the thing with my visual field, when I think of it I see it is quite normal really.. SInce what we see in our visual field instantly brings forth whatever mindpatters that compartment or personality holds towards the object seen.. Bothing new, but for me this has been acting strangely...And fluctuating between compartments while still in he same one or something..I'm not sure.. I will find out some day.

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And then, some time later I was shaving when different memories showed up and i sort of retrieved something from childhood..I think I may have found my main personality or just retrieved new memories that I associate with it.

My voice and behavior has changed, more insecure and shaky voice. But I was always sort of nervous.

At least things are happening:) I guess it is normal to have a lot of stuff going on while starting this process(?)

[Polly]

HeadSpace, yes, it is extremely normal to have a lot of stuff going on when starting this process.  What can happen is called flooding.  This is meant to overwhelm and deter one from continuing. 

[Astrojewels]

Headspace,

Firstly who told you it was attached at the fetus during pregnancy? This is not uncommon but you should be careful being advised on information that will only increase your activations. You need to be able to trust who is giving you information and guidance.

You will not feel it at the solar plexus, that is how it remains without detection, and the solar plexus chakra energy works like a bridge to all other chakras (up and down), and your attachment may be able to influence the base, but not take over, the imbalance in that area would be more associated to your programming rather than the attachment. Don’t give it more power than it has. No, I don’t mean sexual deprogramming.

What I refer to with the physical is through the power of your ‘mental projection’ your thought process controls your body (physical) therefore the more you mentally give it power, the more your physical body will deplete.

I can see with your last post that your victim mentality has increased and you are overwhelmed, take a break, go for a walk, and ground yourself.

Whether it be a demon, an attachment or an entity does not matter, but it can not take your soul unless you give it and it only has power as long as you allow it to do so, it is a weak lower astral energy that must hide, and manipulate.

Part of programming is also to stay focused and reminisce on childhood trauma/issues, to enable the energy of the program to grow, as you are now an adult, yet your mind constantly reflects the childhood confusion of feelings and transition.

[HeadSpace]

The person who told me it was stewart. And I think I trust him.
I'm aware that victim mentality has gotten hold of me, when that demonthing messes with me I sometimes get in a narrow/blind downward spiral of that mentality.

Part of programming is also to stay focused and reminisce on childhood trauma/issues

I dont focus too much on old childhood issues, they just appeared today, not memories either but information and parts of self.

But I do have problems keeping still in my mind, and I seem to get myself into trouble every second. Extremely trigger happy, like I feel something coming and if I dont direct it myself it can cause problems or something. Probrably whats called compulsive thinking..

It also does this in stronger versions like thoughts from foreign sources or something.
Today, after I thought the demonthing had left me and the base was quiet, I got a little strange and came into a rage and something told me it had something to do with luciferian energies... While I walked around trying to figure out what to do toughts and pictures of those kinds of shapes and creatures appeared and it felt as if the thing tried to make a gathering or something:?

I also recognized something, I noticed that the thing can make my vision different..I had alot of it before, I can sit and breathe and things shift into tunnelvision, especially while discussing topics of various sorts. That was when my programming was at its wildest. I was dragged further and further back into my mind where in the end I referred to myself as "we"icon_ahhh And shifts in lighting appears.

Just to make it clear, I dont sit around drifting in to daydreams of lust or anything if that is what some might have thought from what I wrote..It usually happens after I've fallen asleep and am on my way through the different sleep stages..I then often wake up in these states to find out whats going on..

I will ease up on my focus in regards to this, I tend to compusively think about the exact opposite of what I want to see and we all know that doesn't bring about anything nice:?

Theres just different parts, some are very optimistic, light and really cheery but others are very prone to pessimistic mindpatterns and victim mentality. Then theres a middlething where I know what I'm doing and what to doicon_razz I tend to shift between the light and the one who knows and then occasionally land myself in a deep quite extreme depression on the verge of suicidal stuff..

[Polly]

There's a lot going on your space, HeadSpace, and that is okay. You are very creative. I say that because of your descriptions of what goes on in your mind.

Trauma, certain drugs and technology can blast open the mind and make one receptive to all sorts of minute nuances and influences.

Sound. What comes to mind when you read that word? There is something I want to show you about sound but I cannot find it in my files. I may have deleted it. It's about how sound creates and was written by someone on the Internet. Perhaps I can find it again.