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HeadSpace, it does sound as if you were experiencing an alter. It's okay and will be okay because you are reclaiming a split off part of yourself that believes it is a separate entity.
Btw, your last post, the one I just responded to about dreams, does not show up at the forum. The space where your post should be is blank but since I receive emails of posts as they are submitted I have it in email form. Did you want it removed from the forum or is this just a software glitch during another infamous Mercury Retrograde?
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Well, I tried to find out wether or not I should post it..But I had already postet it when I started thinking about this:P So I deleted it, I'm not sure why:?
I can be very indecisive:(
I can post it again if it's needed. Some days ago I walked by my mothers fishtank and I glimpsed a new rock in there that look like quartz, and the word atlantis popped in to my mind..with a sort of view of it, as in what people put into words..
Later that day I read on stewarts questions and answers thread that the cern thing had accidentlly tapped into a timeline or reality where atlantis never ended so I immediatly thought about the possibility that I might had a incarnation there in that timeline or something...Not that this is relevant to what I'm experiencing now anywaysicon_neutral
It feels as if I'm back where I was before I ate mushrooms, which I did for the first time about 3years ago I think. Those three years feels more like 30, seriously..
And now it seems something that might be the original timeline is back, but I guess it's all in my headicon_look
I guess I will integrate this in time, as I'm writing this it feels as it is already happening..
By the way, i dont have the same feeling towards my surroundings anymore, although I can see things that might imply lifeforms and stuff, I feel mostly unaffected. Thats cool:)
I looked at the archetypes silverinfinity made regarding sexual deprogramming before bedtime last night...That might have made an impact.
I often sort of wake up and notice that I'd been dreaming sexual stuff, it's really quite annoying..I feel vulnerable when that happens, slightly scared of that stuff..Of course I do have some interest in that type of thing but I feel scared and attracted at the same time..I also thought about the possibility of those dreams might being masked rituals or something, I'm not sure...
I feel something is off, like I've lost something and can't go back...
I could probrably count my personas on one hand, one is completely freaked of reality which is most likely the sexual one and another one is very cocky and feels he can manipulate all of existence..and theres one who just wants to play and nevermind..Than theres where I'm now, where I feel sort of lost but without troubles and stuff. This one can sit by itself in quiet for hours I think..
just now realized that this might be affected by that relegion program..
Something I remember from a dream this night is that something was wrong with my right arm and I injected something and then as i streched out the arm i felt the biceps got ripped, several rips as I continued to extend the arm..No real pain, just a weird feeling..I remembered thinking it would get stronger in the end because of the shot..which might have been steroids (I'm not sure)...Weird stuff.
A lot of confusion here, somtimes I just want to go:? Thats nice about the side of me that thinks he can manipulate everything, he sees possibilities...I like that, I actually felt that coming back as I wrote this right now...Things happen very fast
Don't really know what to say, I feel a bit odd..Never a stabile momenticon_schiefguck
Now, my mind is far more calm than it was the days before, but I still get those weird views and feelings as in ideas that have upsetting effects. Everytime my world gets stabile and balanced, something turns it upside down..
I definetly feel more grounded, Normally I sort of feel half physical and feel like I can see some structure or something..My own workings, I like the thought that everything is energy and consists of thought so that I can actually enterpret these things..I dont like the idea of being trapped in the physical, it's hellish..That last line was slightly influenced by something..
Really sorry about this post, I'm a bit shaken and confused:)
Edit:
Needless to say, this is not the missing post.
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I think it would be a good move for you to post it again, HeadSpace. I'll tell you why. Naming the true nature of something either in the spoken or written word and having other people hear it or read it is a form of transformation.
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Here it is;
I've had a strange week, I moved in to another house to help out with my grandmother and I got increasingly edgy and strange in this house. Last night I woke up truly angry and yelling at my oversoul because I felt I was being tricked into some weird stuff in my dreams and I got a bunch of those needle-like punches on my body. I got increasingly angry until I sort of just fell into the anger or something which is not me by the way/ maybe, just not the me I'm used to. Then suddenly everything stopped and I felt I was in a different reality and timeline, it felt like the reality of my childhood and some of my old sexual stuff came back.
I got to put some pieces together too and understood a bit more, that reality feels really dense and like a low vibration, hostile/dead. Not cozy:? I tried to ask my oversoul to send me back but I just got confused. While in the raging place I asked if this was an alter, I felt it was..It was connected to sexuality and abandonment..Complete lonelyness I think, I feel it was my first one, from my childhood. I also got a different view of what might have happened to my, where the idea of being abused sexually seemed very painful..I never reacted to the thought before.
I asked for help in getting out of the alter and I felt all the anger dissappear. And a total calm came over me:)
I could also see/feel more memories.
While in the raging alter, aliens, mushrooms, and fluffy light living didn't seem real..It felt as a dream:shock:
Along with most of the information I've gathered the recent years, felt gone.
That is still with me:(
I got more anxiety back, or the feeling of reality being hostile and hard/cold, I don't really like that one. I suspect I've lost frequencyicon_afraid
I also cant help think that this might be a shift from one reality to another, something is radically different but I cant put my finger on it..I'm slightly worried I might freak out at some pointicon_omg
Edit: I just wanted to thank you Polly, I really appreciate your help:)
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I just focused on merging those parts of myself I felt I lost and it helped, in addition I asked the lion archetype to help me override any alter that may have been lurking around and I now feel quite good, I'm actually happy:D
It seems I'm moving in the right direction:)
Thank you very much, will soon have the money to buy more information on deprogramming too:)
The only thing thats annoying me now is the elf or the feeling of pressure on the head and that typical stuff... I haven't mastered the ultimate violet protection technique yet..
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I'm happy for you, HeadSpace. :D Yes, the ELF is an annoyance. Becoming completely impervious to it is a challenge. I do not know anyone who has mastered that state yet but that is all the more reason to keep working at it because one finds out more and more about oneself in the process.
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Hey :)
I saw a picture on a norwegian newspaper some weeks ago of a norwegian lady and the white presidential candidate Mc.. but there was another one too, a big guy, I saw quite clearly that all three is liz-people, the big guy scaared me actually. His eyes were frightening, not the McC. guy but his partner or whatever he was.
Just now I came to think of him and I saw him and the focus was immediatly shifted towards my bellyarea, near the button or whatever it's called in english:P
I then came to think about my past and how I felt this area was manipulated somehow, often I get energybursts there and spontaneous feelings there right out of the blue. yesterday while I drove by a house where this girl lives which I had some past with as a youngster (sexually), I heard the word draco in my mind and then I felt as if i was shot in that belly area and things sort of changed..
Anyways, when the focus changed I thought about implants and asked to have them deactivated..I then sort of saw a remotecontrol switch in my bellyarea..The one on cartoons with a big red button used to activate bombs, I didn't see the colour but it looked just like it. i then saw something over my left albow and something in my right upper arm, there may have been more but I dont remember anything else at the moment:) i tried to deactivate them or just destroy them with intention, but I doubt it worked:?
Had a great night, but something tells me I shouldn't elaborate, wonder whyicon_rolleyes It might be my oversoul, I'm really looking forward to getting those books on oversoul communication.
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I noticed something peculiar today, I read that madonna is an new world relegion icon.. i've always heard something familiar in some of her stuff, which I feel I know to some extent..quite weird, I'm not a fan but something is there that I know quite well.. I guess i could say the emotional tone of some relegious stuff, I'm not sure:?
Today I got curious after a song came on the telly, and I checked which number she had in regards to numerology. And it turns out we have almost the same number, she has 2 and I have 11/2..as a lifepathnumber. Thought that was weird:P
So there might be something to this numerology stuff, feels like we have something in common...not sure what. Of course, I was said to have the new world relegion program but I dont allow that too do anything..At least not that I'm aware of although I have in the past..Quite strange stuff:)
Edit:
I notice I've destroyed this thread completely and I'm really sorry about that:?
If any of the moderators is up for it you could just stuff it in aother thread or something..Maybe I could have a deprogramming diary..not that it would be an interesting read anyways:P
So, feel free to modify;)
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Headspace if you want to start a diary in this section, go ahead, I am sure no one has any objections?
It would be good to read and you seem to want to find out as much as you can and work through it, which I see as very positive.
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